Neptune: You can barely hear the sirens anymore, guys. It's fine. Sit still, you are making me crazy.
Venus: I'm still a little worried.
Jupiter: It's always like this, the devil always shows up when you least expect it.
Neptune: You two are unbearable. All we literally have to do is chill. You can do that, right? Riiiiiiiiiiight?
Jupiter: Um. I can try?
Venus: Well...... not... really...
Neptune: God. I should have known. You are both impossible. I'm so glad I brought this.
Venus: ...!
Jupiter: Oh my god.
The bottle is half drunk and sticky and smells of paint thinner, sugar, and artifical flavoring, and that is exactly what it is along with some additives that will shave years off our lives.
Neptune: No need to praise me too much. You can thank me by drinking this until you're no longer anxious and annoying.
Venus: That's! I'm! Illegal!
Neptune: That is fine because either way I'm gonna drink it until I don't care how anxious and annoying either of you are.
Jupiter: How did you even get that?
Neptune: I traded this fine bottle of Pernicious Rogue for $20 bucks and my three ugliest shades of nailpolish. Aren't I generous?
Venus: I haven't ever had alcohol before.
Jupiter: Oh god it hurts just to smell. Are you sure this is something people can drink?
Neptune: IMPOSSIBLE, the both of you. I swear to god. Sorry it's not an Italian red my darling princesses, I also don't have martini glasses or umbrellas either, but I promise you: adults are lying assholes about alcohol and all this shit is samely awful. What you should be saying is Neptune, thank you SO much for getting some with the chaser already in it! You perfect darling~. You're saving us the embarrassment of throwing up after our first shot and you ask for nothing in return but us to shut the fuck up. You're an angel who doesn't deserve any of this.
Venus: U-um sorry thank you.
Jupiter: "Neptune, thank you SO much for-"
Neptune: Don't get smart with me. I only have two shot glasses, so who's going with me.
Venus: Me? Ummmmm no I really shouldn't thank you for offering but I am-
Neptune: Venus. You are drinking with us.
Venus: B-But we'll get in trouble and it's not allowed and it's illegal-
Neptune: I think you are having a problem understanding the situation here, Venus. Just by being in the same room with this bottle, you are already an accomplice. You will be held just as responsible if we're found out. They won't care at all if you didn't drink. You're already guilty, sweetie.
Venus: Ah... ummmmm...
Neptune: So how about you just give in and drink.
Venus: Well... I...
Neptune: Besides, Jupiter thinks thisis going to kill us so please prove it won't. This is an important service you are doing.
Venus: Um. No promises... that I will live...
Neptune: I won't let you if you don't. Cheers.
Venus: Owwwwwww. This is baddddddddddddd.
Neptune: Ugh. Come. On. Can't you. At Least. Eugh. Put on a good face. BluGH.
Jupiter: Thanks everyone, all by doubts are cleared.
Venus: I feel like my stomach is trying to punch me in the face.
Neptune: Be tougher please.
Venus: NO! I REFUSE utterly.
Neptune: HAHA WHAT are you drunk.
Venus: Lies.
Neptune: Venus you are absolutely tee-totally drunk. This is historic.
Venus: I'm not at ALL. I'll take another shot and prove it. Somehow.
Neptune: You are completely on.
Venus: GOD it's actually worse.
Neptune: I feel nothing. I'm a wall. *cough cough cough*
Venus: How does anyone live long enough to get used to THIS. It's CRAZY????
Neptune: I can't believe you at all, you were so scandalized a minute ago, and yet, you are literally the drunkest person in the whole universe right now.
Venus: You're a jerk Neptune! YOU know what your problem is?????
Neptune: HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME? Oh PLEASE do Venus, I'm SO ready.
Venus: Your problem is that you hate yourself!!!
Neptune: HAHA duh Venus, everyone feels like that, you're going to have to do WAY BETTER.
Venus: No true uhhhhhh... it was something about how... like you treat hating yourself like a competition... I totally had it.
Neptune: Sure you did hun. Drink up. Jesus. This is awful.
Venus: I think I'm warming up to it? HAHA I'M LYING, it feels like death. But like, nice and sugary. I don't care about anything and it's so great!
Neptune: You know what YOUR problem is? It's that you *cough* That you *cough cough* You *cough cough cough* oh god Help *cough* I can't *cough*
Neptune: This is so awfl help me why won't it stop.
Venus: It'll be okay, I don't think we drank that much.
Neptune: It's not the- Oh god. Hurk-
Venus: Oh no.
Neptune: Go away Venus GO AWAY.
Venus: No you have to- Oh... Neptune... what...?
Neptune: I said... go away.
Venus: Neptune... what's going on?
Neptune: I said it's fine.
Venus: It's a lot... it's a lot worse than you said...
Neptune: It's still fine. I promise. I swear. Venus I promise I am not lying about this one. I promise.It'll be better tomorrow. Okay? We just have to get through it. Please. Just... don't tell Jupiter.
Venus: Okay. I won't tell her.
Neptune: Thank you. I'm sorry.
Venus: It's okay.
Neptune: ... Venus, your problem is that you are very nice. But you want something. And you think being nice is going to give it to you. But it never will. And until you figure out what it is you want. Every kindness of yours will be full of that want. Like mine is.
Venus: ... ... ...your problem Neptune is You think being mean is more honest. But you're just as bad as Jupiter. And me.
Neptune: Peer pressure. You're not cool if you don't drink.
Jupiter: Oh no. I am falling for this.
Neptune: Look at me, I'm an after school special, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Who knows what will happen.
Jupiter: Okay okay.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Cheers?
Neptune: Ahaha, your face right now! It's not- ugh.
Jupiter: It's just so... sweet. It'd be easier straight.
Neptune: Wait, this isn't your first time drinking?
Jupiter: My dad sometimes gives me a little. And my mom too, on Sundays. They're really strict though. They want me to like, appreciate it and not do exactly what we're doing and drink horrible shit for the sake of getting drunk.
Neptune: Well it's too late now. You're corrupted forever and the only choice is to drink until you are drunk and hungover so you can learn an important lesson about life and peer pressure and whatever.
Jupiter: Haha okay. I will drink to that.
Neptune: BOTTOMS UP BITCH.
Jupiter: Ugh. Yep. Still bad.
Neptune: ErGGhhh. How do youuu stand ittttttttt. You're barely making a face it's infuriating ANOTHER PLEASE.
Jupiter: I can't stand it it's awful. It's unimaginable. Please show me mercy.
Neptune: Another.
Jupiter: Are you... sure?
Venus: Um. I'm just gonna read.
Neptune: FUCK YOU TAKE THIS SHOT.
Venus: Aaaaaaa UgGHHHHHH.
Neptune: BLUGH I hate this.
Jupiter: What is this flavor. Fruit punch. Or is it green apple? Maybe watermelon...
Neptune: I can't believe you're not even TIPSY. Your father is incredible. Is he Vin Diesel. Is he Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is he Ernest Hemingway. Are you the love child of Vin Diesel and Ernest Hemingway.
Jupiter: Well he doesn't care for women or long sentences, if that counts.
Neptune: HA that's fucking funny! So you HAVE read a book.
Jupiter: I mean, it's not 'cause he's mean or anything he just doesn't LIKE women.
Neptune: Oh. OH. Wait why would HE send you here?
Jupiter: Sometimes we just do stuff so mom will chill.
Neptune: Haha your dad is COOL.
Jupiter: Yeah haha. He really is.
Neptune: ANOTHER?
Jupiter: OKAY. My dad said that humans may have made alcohol, but the devil gave them the idea.
Neptune: Your dad has never been more right about anything.
Jupiter: The worse it tastes, the more evil it makes you. And every kind has its own sort of evil in it. I think... alcohol is incredible like that.
Neptune: It's all the same.
Jupiter: No, no, no! It's so different. It's SO different. Like red wine makes you lascivious but also kind of weepy. And beer makes you lazy but prepared to yell.
Neptune: Oh yeah? Then what does this make you feel?
Jupiter: Hmmmmmm... I feel like I want to break a window?
Venus: Ummmmmm.
Neptune: YOU'RE RIGHT, FUCK. I'M GOING TO THROW UP ON EVERYONE.
Jupiter: Ahaha you are not sober.
Neptune: Neither are YOU miss, it's written all over your smug lazy face, I can TELL, HA, HA, Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Jupiter: Noooooo it's truuuuuuue. This is a tragedy. How will my reputation as #1 untouchable tomboy prude ever recover.
Neptune: God don't complain, I got MOST touchable and it's not even true I'm not half as bad as those sluts in Group Southeast. Leave me ALONE please. People think you're cool, you know.
Jupiter: They are wronggggggg and also jerks. Camp will be over seen anyway.
Neptune: Assholesssssss fuck em. FUCK EM JUPITER.
Jupiter: Hahaha YEAH. Let's do ANOTHER.
Neptune: Ahaha fine- Ugh...
Jupiter: Ahahah you shouldn't drink so fast.
Neptune: Ugh... no. It's not... that.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: Ah god I itch. *Cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...?
Neptune: It's Okay I I... stop... damn it... not ...here.
Jupiter: Come let's go to the bathroom, don't throw up here-
Neptune: I'M FINE. DON'T. *cough cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...!
Neptune: Don't look.
Jupiter: Are... you...
Neptune: I'm fine. I'm fine. Seriously, I'm fine.
Jupiter: ...are you sure?
Neptune: Yeah I'm fine. I just felt a little sick. I can do... ONE more.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
11 PM
Venus: I'm still a little worried.
Jupiter: It's always like this, the devil always shows up when you least expect it.
Neptune: You two are unbearable. All we literally have to do is chill. You can do that, right? Riiiiiiiiiiight?
Jupiter: Um. I can try?
Venus: Well...... not... really...
Neptune: God. I should have known. You are both impossible. I'm so glad I brought this.
Venus: ...!
Jupiter: Oh my god.
The bottle is half drunk and sticky and smells of paint thinner, sugar, and artifical flavoring, and that is exactly what it is along with some additives that will shave years off our lives.
Neptune: No need to praise me too much. You can thank me by drinking this until you're no longer anxious and annoying.
Venus: That's! I'm! Illegal!
Neptune: That is fine because either way I'm gonna drink it until I don't care how anxious and annoying either of you are.
Jupiter: How did you even get that?
Neptune: I traded this fine bottle of Pernicious Rogue for $20 bucks and my three ugliest shades of nailpolish. Aren't I generous?
Venus: I haven't ever had alcohol before.
Jupiter: Oh god it hurts just to smell. Are you sure this is something people can drink?
Neptune: IMPOSSIBLE, the both of you. I swear to god. Sorry it's not an Italian red my darling princesses, I also don't have martini glasses or umbrellas either, but I promise you: adults are lying assholes about alcohol and all this shit is samely awful. What you should be saying is Neptune, thank you SO much for getting some with the chaser already in it! You perfect darling~. You're saving us the embarrassment of throwing up after our first shot and you ask for nothing in return but us to shut the fuck up. You're an angel who doesn't deserve any of this.
Venus: U-um sorry thank you.
Jupiter: "Neptune, thank you SO much for-"
Neptune: Don't get smart with me. I only have two shot glasses, so who's going with me.
♀ + ♆
Venus: Me? Ummmmm no I really shouldn't thank you for offering but I am-
Neptune: Venus. You are drinking with us.
Venus: B-But we'll get in trouble and it's not allowed and it's illegal-
Neptune: I think you are having a problem understanding the situation here, Venus. Just by being in the same room with this bottle, you are already an accomplice. You will be held just as responsible if we're found out. They won't care at all if you didn't drink. You're already guilty, sweetie.
Venus: Ah... ummmmm...
Neptune: So how about you just give in and drink.
Venus: Well... I...
Neptune: Besides, Jupiter thinks thisis going to kill us so please prove it won't. This is an important service you are doing.
Venus: Um. No promises... that I will live...
Neptune: I won't let you if you don't. Cheers.
Venus: Owwwwwww. This is baddddddddddddd.
Neptune: Ugh. Come. On. Can't you. At Least. Eugh. Put on a good face. BluGH.
Jupiter: Thanks everyone, all by doubts are cleared.
Venus: I feel like my stomach is trying to punch me in the face.
Neptune: Be tougher please.
Venus: NO! I REFUSE utterly.
Neptune: HAHA WHAT are you drunk.
Venus: Lies.
Neptune: Venus you are absolutely tee-totally drunk. This is historic.
Venus: I'm not at ALL. I'll take another shot and prove it. Somehow.
Neptune: You are completely on.
Venus: GOD it's actually worse.
Neptune: I feel nothing. I'm a wall. *cough cough cough*
Venus: How does anyone live long enough to get used to THIS. It's CRAZY????
Neptune: I can't believe you at all, you were so scandalized a minute ago, and yet, you are literally the drunkest person in the whole universe right now.
Venus: You're a jerk Neptune! YOU know what your problem is?????
Neptune: HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME? Oh PLEASE do Venus, I'm SO ready.
Venus: Your problem is that you hate yourself!!!
Neptune: HAHA duh Venus, everyone feels like that, you're going to have to do WAY BETTER.
Venus: No true uhhhhhh... it was something about how... like you treat hating yourself like a competition... I totally had it.
Neptune: Sure you did hun. Drink up. Jesus. This is awful.
Venus: I think I'm warming up to it? HAHA I'M LYING, it feels like death. But like, nice and sugary. I don't care about anything and it's so great!
Neptune: You know what YOUR problem is? It's that you *cough* That you *cough cough* You *cough cough cough* oh god Help *cough* I can't *cough*
Venus: Oh no, oh no no, what-
Neptune: *cough* Bath *cough* room I'm gonna throw-
Venus: I got you I promise! Jupiter come help-
Neptune: NO just help me-
Venus: Okay okay!
Neptune: This is so awfl help me why won't it stop.
Venus: It'll be okay, I don't think we drank that much.
Neptune: It's not the- Oh god. Hurk-
Venus: Oh no.
Neptune: Go away Venus GO AWAY.
Venus: No you have to- Oh... Neptune... what...?
Neptune: I said... go away.
Venus: Neptune... what's going on?
Neptune: I said it's fine.
Venus: It's a lot... it's a lot worse than you said...
Neptune: It's still fine. I promise. I swear. Venus I promise I am not lying about this one. I promise.It'll be better tomorrow. Okay? We just have to get through it. Please. Just... don't tell Jupiter.
Venus: Okay. I won't tell her.
Neptune: Thank you. I'm sorry.
Venus: It's okay.
Neptune: ... Venus, your problem is that you are very nice. But you want something. And you think being nice is going to give it to you. But it never will. And until you figure out what it is you want. Every kindness of yours will be full of that want. Like mine is.
Venus: ... ... ...your problem Neptune is You think being mean is more honest. But you're just as bad as Jupiter. And me.
Neptune: ... We are bad kids, aren't we.
Venus: I hope no one finds out.
Neptune: Me neither.
♃ + ♆
Jupiter: Uhhhhhhh.
Neptune: PLEASE don't tell me you're not.
Jupiter: I... guesssss.
Neptune: Peer pressure. You're not cool if you don't drink.
Jupiter: Oh no. I am falling for this.
Neptune: Look at me, I'm an after school special, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Who knows what will happen.
Jupiter: Okay okay.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Cheers?
Neptune: Ahaha, your face right now! It's not- ugh.
Jupiter: It's just so... sweet. It'd be easier straight.
Neptune: Wait, this isn't your first time drinking?
Jupiter: My dad sometimes gives me a little. And my mom too, on Sundays. They're really strict though. They want me to like, appreciate it and not do exactly what we're doing and drink horrible shit for the sake of getting drunk.
Neptune: Well it's too late now. You're corrupted forever and the only choice is to drink until you are drunk and hungover so you can learn an important lesson about life and peer pressure and whatever.
Jupiter: Haha okay. I will drink to that.
Neptune: BOTTOMS UP BITCH.
Jupiter: Ugh. Yep. Still bad.
Neptune: ErGGhhh. How do youuu stand ittttttttt. You're barely making a face it's infuriating ANOTHER PLEASE.
Jupiter: I can't stand it it's awful. It's unimaginable. Please show me mercy.
Neptune: Another.
Jupiter: Are you... sure?
Venus: Um. I'm just gonna read.
Neptune: FUCK YOU TAKE THIS SHOT.
Venus: Aaaaaaa UgGHHHHHH.
Neptune: BLUGH I hate this.
Jupiter: What is this flavor. Fruit punch. Or is it green apple? Maybe watermelon...
Neptune: I can't believe you're not even TIPSY. Your father is incredible. Is he Vin Diesel. Is he Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is he Ernest Hemingway. Are you the love child of Vin Diesel and Ernest Hemingway.
Jupiter: Well he doesn't care for women or long sentences, if that counts.
Neptune: HA that's fucking funny! So you HAVE read a book.
Jupiter: I mean, it's not 'cause he's mean or anything he just doesn't LIKE women.
Neptune: Oh. OH. Wait why would HE send you here?
Jupiter: Sometimes we just do stuff so mom will chill.
Neptune: Haha your dad is COOL.
Jupiter: Yeah haha. He really is.
Neptune: ANOTHER?
Jupiter: OKAY. My dad said that humans may have made alcohol, but the devil gave them the idea.
Neptune: Your dad has never been more right about anything.
Jupiter: The worse it tastes, the more evil it makes you. And every kind has its own sort of evil in it. I think... alcohol is incredible like that.
Neptune: It's all the same.
Jupiter: No, no, no! It's so different. It's SO different. Like red wine makes you lascivious but also kind of weepy. And beer makes you lazy but prepared to yell.
Neptune: Oh yeah? Then what does this make you feel?
Jupiter: Hmmmmmm... I feel like I want to break a window?
Venus: Ummmmmm.
Neptune: YOU'RE RIGHT, FUCK. I'M GOING TO THROW UP ON EVERYONE.
Jupiter: Ahaha you are not sober.
Neptune: Neither are YOU miss, it's written all over your smug lazy face, I can TELL, HA, HA, Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Jupiter: Noooooo it's truuuuuuue. This is a tragedy. How will my reputation as #1 untouchable tomboy prude ever recover.
Neptune: God don't complain, I got MOST touchable and it's not even true I'm not half as bad as those sluts in Group Southeast. Leave me ALONE please. People think you're cool, you know.
Jupiter: They are wronggggggg and also jerks. Camp will be over seen anyway.
Neptune: Assholesssssss fuck em. FUCK EM JUPITER.
Jupiter: Hahaha YEAH. Let's do ANOTHER.
Neptune: Ahaha fine- Ugh...
Jupiter: Ahahah you shouldn't drink so fast.
Neptune: Ugh... no. It's not... that.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: Ah god I itch. *Cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...?
Neptune: It's Okay I I... stop... damn it... not ...here.
Jupiter: Come let's go to the bathroom, don't throw up here-
Neptune: I'M FINE. DON'T. *cough cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...!
Neptune: Don't look.
Jupiter: Are... you...
Neptune: I'm fine. I'm fine. Seriously, I'm fine.
Jupiter: ...are you sure?
Neptune: Yeah I'm fine. I just felt a little sick. I can do... ONE more.
Jupiter: One more.
Neptune: DISGUSTING FOREVER.