We're drenched in sunscreen and bug spray and incense. We feel gross, look gross, smell gross. We're sunburned and bug-bitten and behind us is the devil, every annoyance of summer nipping at our heels. Being in the Summer Scouts sucks incredibly. The cabins are stuffy, the beds are gross, the food is grosser, the counselors only sing about jesus, and they won't let us have a transformation sequence. We can't wait until a week from now when the three of us are home in our beds, we won't have to think about what we do or don't deserve, and we can leave cleaning up the devil to someone else.
Jupiter: ...Ow. Ow.
Venus: Oh my god, are you okay!
Jupiter: Oh. Totally. Totally fine. Ow.
Venus: Are you sure, it looked so bad...
Jupiter: Nahhhhhhh it's nothing. It's okay.
[Neptune] It literally looks like it fucking killed you.
Jupiter: I totally... totally promise I am still alive.
Venus: Okay...
[Neptune] Don't fall asleep with a concussion. If you do, I'm calling 911.
Jupiter: Haha I won't.
[Neptune] Do. Please. Take me with you.
Laughing off a head injury isn't all that Jupiter's good at; she has the best grades in class, and coaches make her starter on whatever team has the most pressing need for someone who can do sports. She's a perfect role model, except for how she always misses the winning goal and she always blanks on the last question. She leads when no one else wants to, which is always. Jupiter clutches her head. It hurts a lot. She thinks about hands gently pressing into her temples. It's a relaxing thought, until she feels the texture of fingers on her scalp. Jupiter snaps a hair tie against her wrist.
Jupiter: Are we late already?
Venus: I think we left pretty early?
Jupiter: We've been walking for a long time, though.
Venus: I don't think so? Maybe. Not that long. Well, not too terribly long. I guess it's been kind of a while.
Jupiter: We're not late already are we?
[Neptune] Absolutely. It's 6:06.
Jupiter: Whyyyyyyy.
Venus: Oh no.
[Neptune] I told you so.
Idiot<3Jerkface: Ugh how much longer r u in summer scouts for
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Another week. Fml. This is the worst
Idiot<3Jerkface: I will pray everyone dies
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Stop giving me false hope
Jupiter: We're close. I'm pretty sure. We have to be.
Venus: It's fine as long as we're not the last one there, right?
[Neptune] It is utterly assured that they are already there because they did not have to do any of the complete bullshit we just did.
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Im genuinely sorry for my horrible life.
Idiot<3Jerkface: Happy hunting lmao
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Fuk u
Neptune didn't tell us because she was too busy talking with her friends and doesn't care about how much trouble we get into. Or maybe she didn't want us to worry for as long as we didn't have to worry. Neptune is very kind or possibly super mean and hates us. But that's okay. She's really funny. Neptune looks in no way like she's supposed to be here. But that's why she's here, of course. For a moment she's about to say something but it catches in her throat and she coughs instead.
Venus: Oh, over there!
Jupiter: Where?
Venus: See? That light.
Jupiter: I don't see anything.
Venus: It's right there...?
[Neptune] *cough* It's over here.
And there's the bonfire.
Jupiter: We're not too late right?
[Neptune] ...
Venus: ...
The Bonfire Captain: Haha, Group West's finally here. Kinda early for you guys, huh? I didn't hear ya'll swearing, did I?
Jupiter: No, Sir.
Venus: Nosir.
[Neptune] Nah.
The Bonfire Captain: Hahaha. Sure you weren't.
Venus: We promise!
The Bonfire Captain: Oh I believe you. I dunno about the rest, though.
Venus: Ah. Um.
Venus smiles in that way that makes everyone there want to punch him a little, but that's all that it takes for them to forget we were even late. Venus can smile and laugh nervously through anything, and the rest of us are invisible for as long as we can endure the secondhand embarrassment.
The Bonfire Captain: Sit down everyone.
The Bonfire Captain throws more incense in the fire. The sticky sickly sweet smell is the worst thing about camp. It's a terrible blend; termite-eaten wood from abandoned churches, dried daylilies from the sides of country roads, singed wire from burned out radios, dubious apologies, ashes of monsters of the week. Gross. Venus sits with his legs crossed, taking up as little space as he can, which is at most not very much. Neptune remains mercilessly fashionable, watching the other groups like they're the entertainment. Jupiter pulls her legs up and rests her chin on her knees. She's bad at posture. But she is good at being comfortable. She likes the security of holding her whole body. There's a perfect balance of usefulness and liability to the young for which the summer scouts are the most perfect solution.
The Bonfire Captain: Everyone having a good time?
No one is, or has much enthusiasm to fake it.
The Bonfire Captain: I said, is everyone having a Good Time?
But the captain can be motivating.
The Bonfire Captain: I SAID, is everyone HAVING A GOOD TIME?
And doesn't quit until everyone's at least put effort into faking it.
Jupiter: Yay.
Venus: Y-yes!
[Neptune] Yeah yeah.
This is bullshit.
The Bonfire Captain: That's more like it. Still a little quiet in the West.
[Neptune] Fuuuuck him.
Jupiter: *Snort.*
Venus: haha-um, shh.
The Bonfire Captain picks up his guitar. Neptune doesn't even try hide her look of pure offense. None of the counselors like to talk as much as he does. He must feel like he needs to give the sermons since he's in charge, but we know the counselors wish they were somewhere else as much as we do.
The Bonfire Captain: You know, I wasn't the most popular when I was a kid. I got in my share of fights, but I had a couple of guys I was best friends with and we stuck up for each other. Whenever my parents asked if I wanted to bring one of my friends somewhere, I'd say, "I wanna bring both of them." I thought I was doing this great thing, not holding one of my friends over the other. But secretly, I thought one of them was kinda annoying. And he kinda was. He whined and wouldn't go along with us sometimes. I felt pretty bad about that, so I tried to be an even better friend to make up for it. I thought if I could work even harder, I'd be able to make up for him. But actually, I wasn't helping him at all. You wouldn't have thought it, I wouldn't have thought it, but in the end he was the one that got in deep, deep trouble. I probably could have stopped it if I'd told him to cut it out and man up instead of basically doing the opposite. Some friendships you can keep up. The rest you gotta leave up to god.
[Neptune] Ugh JESUS. How long will this go on. There's no mercy in this world.
Venus: You think we're going to the cabin tonight?
Jupiter: I dunno. Probably not?
[Neptune] Good one Jupiter, but there is no mercy in this world.
Venus: It's our last week at camp and they haven't sent us there yet.
[Neptune] And that loser has it in for us so bad.
Jupiter: Maybe we won't have to go. I'm feeling optimistic this time.
Venus: ... ...Why?
[Neptune] Yeah why?
Jupiter: Uh. Because...
[Neptune] No seriously, why. Why would you ever think that.
The Bonfire Captain: Hey there GROUP WEST. Feel like meeting the devil tonight?
Jupiter: He'd have been less mad if you hadn't been texting the whole time he was yelling at us.
Neptune: The captain will live.
Jupiter: I thought he was gonna knock it out of your hand for a minute.
Neptune: HA. God. I wish he would've.
Jupiter: Hey Venus, you got it? Venus? VENUS.
Venus: What?
Neptune: Don't zone out, do you want to die?
Venus: Sorry... I thought I saw something. This diode shattered, can you pass me a new one?
Jupiter climbs up the pole to pass a new crystal to Venus. Neptune keeps watch, but actually she's mad because fixing the sirens is stupid and menial and there's no reason they should have to do it. Neptune refuses to participate unless we're cutting corners.
Jupiter: Here Venus.
Venus: Oh no.
Jupiter: What?
Neptune: Oh look who it is.
Group South: Hey. Hey. Hey.
Neptune: Hey.
Jupiter: Hey.
Venus: ...hey.
Group South doesn't really look the same, but we can't remember their names or tell the difference between them. Which is super mean of us. No wonder they hate our guts.
Group South: You guys got the lake sirens. We got the forest sirens. You guys got the lake sirens. You check your own sirens. You guys got the lake sirens. You should leave.
Jupiter: Uh. The Bonfire Captain told us these ones, guys.
Venus: ...yeah.
Neptune: Yeah why are you LYING to our FACES? Do we look completely STUPID?
Venus: ...yeah!
Group South: That's what he said. Venus must have heard wrong. That's what he said. He said Venus would screw it up again. That's what he said. Venus sucks and should go home immediately.
Group South does everything perfectly and is the fucking worst. The best kinds in a camp for bad kids are absolutely certain to be the fucking worst.
Jupiter: I'll go take care of the next one, guys. Catch up, okay?
She goes but Group South doesn't. They just watch. We can't focus on what we're doing or enjoy it while being watched by someone expecting something who won't say what and won't leave. Venus keeps getting distracted by the lights, and Neptune is keenly aware of the pit in her stomach. There is truly nothing ruder than denying us distraction.
Neptune: Goddddddddddddd. Seriously, what do you want?
Group South: Nothing. Nothing. You're cool. Nothing. You're cool. He's the one in trouble.
Neptune: Realllllllly?
Venus: I must not be, since the captain's not here.
Group South stares at Venus. Venus ignores them. They can stick around if they want. We can pretend to fix this siren all night.
Group South: Hey Venus. Hey Venus. You're taking a while. Hey Venus. You're taking a while. Need help.
Venus: No. Captain said I could do it alone. Go away. It's distracting.
Neptune: Don't you have somewhere else to be? Isn't cap'n going to be mad if he sees you slacking off?
Group South: Nah.
Neptune: He was pretty pissed off last time, wasn't he?
Group South: Nah. We're supposed to be here.
Neptune: Everyone was laughing.
Group South: It's Venus's fault- ... Nah. We're supposed to be here. It's Venus's fault.
Neptune: Haha. God I wish. The worst thing Venus has done is not fuck up hard enough to get us all kicked out. What is your problem, trying to get him to do something right, when you could be doing something productive like fucking up and getting us all sent home!
Venus: I don't know why he doesn't like you but the more you try to get on his good side the worse he'll make it for you. He doesn't need a reason. He hates it when peopel try to get on his good side.
Group South: You-
Venus: He hates it because it's like you're telling him what to do.
Group South: Fuck it. Fuck it?! ...Fuck it.
Neptune: ... Venus you have to be done by now, right? Venus. VENUS.
Venus: Oh! Yeah. I finished a while ago.
Neptune: What are you even looking at?
Venus: Oh-it's nothing, don't worry. I'll come down.
Venus climbs down from the siren, which crackles softy with the faint static of the radio again. It's louder than normal. God is already warning us.
Venus: Um.
Neptune: What.
Venus: Thanks. And um. Sorry for fucking up all the time.
Neptune: I literally don't care. They're idiots. They don't get it at all. There so obsessed with you, it's so weird.
Venus: They hate me though?
Neptune: Obviously? Is that supposed to make a difference?
Venus: Does it... not?
Neptune: Oh god. I really wish you would fuck up so bad even the captain hated you. It'd be a good look for you.
Venus: Oh... ...but I don't think I actually could? Mess up on purpose, I mean.
Neptune: It's literally as easy as doing nothing.
Venus: I know. Sometimes it feels harder to not do something than to do something? I wish I was a little more like you. You deal with this stuff so easily?
Neptune: Venus.
Venus: Yes?
Neptune: You're never allowed to think I have it better off than you. Ever. It's the worst thing you can do.
Venus: Oh. I'm sorry?
Neptune: Sometimes I kind of envy you Venus. And other times I really kind of don't.
Group South: Stay. Where are you going? Stay. The Bonfire Captain said. Stay.
Jupiter: Come on, guys.
Neptune: Why are you all such idiots? Why do you think we're going to be as stupid as you are and believe the stupid things you are saying? Why are you unable to follow basic instructions or hear things that people say?
Group South turns around.
Group South: Hey Neptune. Hey Neptune. Hey Neptune.
Neptune: You are exactly as ugly as each other, it's scarily accurate. How long did you have to practice to coordinate that? I am truly in awe that it's possible for you all to have done this every single day for a month. I was so sure one day you were going to slip up and one of you would be accidentally identifiable but consider me defeated. As expected of our top group this year though? I thought that I was underestimating but I am so deeply ashamed of myself for doubting you for even-
Neptune dies out by the time we reach the next siren.
Jupiter: She'll be okay.
Venus: Yeah... Maybe we should go check though?
Jupiter: It's fine.
We get to the siren and we do the thing; Jupiter pushes up Venus and he climbs up to get the switch at the top.
Venus: I'm sorry.
Jupiter: It's okay.
Venus: ... I'm really sorry.
Jupiter: I know, I know.
Venus: I really don't like them.
Jupiter: They're kinda fuckers.
Venus: Ha. They're very popular though.
Jupiter: You think so? Man, I don't like them. Does anyone really like them?
Venus: No, not really. Not even the captain likes them. They like you though, don't they?
Jupiter: ...I guess. I don't know. Actually, I don't think they do. Sometimes they're a little bit funny. But I don't actually like their humor too much. This sounds weird, but I kind of hang out with them so they'll leave me alone? Maybe that doesn't make sense.
Venus: No... it kind of doesn't?
Jupiter: Haaaaahaha jeez. I kinda knew you'd say that. You know how sometimes kids bully each other because they don't know how to say they like someone?
Venus: Yeah, a little. I always thought that maybe they also had to hate you a little to do that, though?
Jupiter: Haha. See. You get it.
Venus: Ha. Aha. But I wish they'd leave me alone. Or I guess I meant more like, that sucks- -and I wish we didn't have to or- -I could talk to them and they wouldn't hate me?
Jupiter: Well if it makes you feel any better... It's really not working out for me, either.
The road there is through the woods, but not far. We just follow the sirens to where they're covered in vines and their lights don't work so well anymore.
Venus: ... ...um...
Neptune: It's fine.
Jupiter: It's fine.
We still can't quite believe it's a house humans are supposed to spend a night in. It has electricity, unbelievably, and also illegally, because it could likely burn it down and kill everyone.
Venus: ... ...
Jupiter: What is it?
Venus: I'm trying to think of something positive to say but, uh. I can't.
Neptune: It's a work of actual art. I'm truly impressed.
Jupiter: In all kinds of ways.
Neptune: Seriously, I'm in awe. No ordinary idiot built this cabin. An ordinary idiot would have given up long before this. It takes a truly extraordinary idiot to keep at something he has no idea how to do. I pray we never have to meet him.
Jupiter: Hmm.
Neptune: What?
Jupiter: I was just thinking... It's like, guaranteed the captain built it, right?
Neptune: If you tell a joke with a face that straight, someone impressionable like Venus is going to believe you and be terrified for the rest of their life.
Jupiter: I'm totally serious. Can't you imagine how proud the Captain would be of himself? He'd never think he was doing a single thing wrong, right? There's like half a dozen horrifying shacks here. He must have had so much fun.
Neptune: God. Hold me please. You've chilled me to the depths of my soul.
Jupiter: Hahahaha.
Jupiter snaps her hair tie against her wrist.
Venus: There's something wrong with the lock.
Jupiter: Is it broken? I don't hear any static... it really is broken.
Venus: That's so dangerous! No one would leave it unlocked like that, would they?
Jupiter: No. They wouldn't.
Neptune: They could have broken it and not told anyone. That'd just be like Group East.
Venus: I think Group South was here last?
Neptune: Or them, or anyone. They're all jerks who'd rather let the next group take the fall than fix it, so what does it matter which one it was?
Jupiter: The crystal and whisker look fine. It looks like someone tried to tape it together? But it must have come loose.
Venus: It could have already been like this... but this kind of charm doesn't break that easily, I don't think. You just need to make sure the wire is securely touching the galena.
Jupiter relaxes slightly. She is more worried about the devil than any of us, but all of us are worried. Though not that worried. Humans are much more likely to kill you than the devil is. Statistically.
Venus: There's probably some wire in the weird little shacks in the clearing out back.
Neptune: Have fun.
This shack is full of shelves and drawers, all neatly, maniacally squeezed along the four walls. It's much prettier and sturdier than the one we're staying in, but it's inhumanely small. The house seems to have been built for modestly large dolls. We have to hunch over to get in and we can't move without bumping each other. We have thought of two possibilities for how this happened. The possibility which is weird is that someone, possibly the captain, decided to make a .6 scale house on purpose, for .6 humans, or dolls, or fun, and then turned it into storage. The possibility which is scary is that someone, possibly the captain, completely finished a .6 scale shack before realizing his measurements were off in the first place.
Jupiter: If we find the tape, can you fix it?
Venus: I think so? But it's kind of worrying for it to be like that. Maybe we should call the captain?
Jupiter: We... could... do that... But let's try to get it working first.
Venus: I'm a little worried... I'm sure it'll be okay if I talk to him?
Jupiter: You'll be fine. I promise. I believe in you.
Venus: ... ...really?
Jupiter: Just search that drawer, Venus.
We root through drawers again. A little more intently.
Venus: Are you scared of him?
Jupiter: Got it!
Venus: Oh! Yay. I almost have it! It's way easier than I thought.
Jupiter: Phew.
Venus: See?
Jupiter: Nice. I'm glad. I really didn't want to have to go back to the captain.
Venus: Ha, yeah.
Jupiter: ... ...I don't know if it's really that I'm scared of him? But he does make me worry.
Venus: Oh. Um, he doesn't hate you or anything, I don't think. I mean, he's nicer to you than a lot of people.
Jupiter: ...why does everyone think that? He never got mad at me but... I don't like being liked by him. It makes me think there must be something wrong with me? I don't want to be the sort of person that he likes. It makes me shiver. He likes people he can make a little uncomfortable and won't give any trouble about it.
Venus: Like us, I guess.
Jupiter: Exactly us. We're the only people he likes, after all.
Venus: I don't think he's going to do anything terrible...
Jupiter: No, he wouldn't but... I don't know. Maybe he already did? Like how you don't have to touch someone to touch someone? You know? That sounds weird. Forget it.
Neptune: I guesssssssssss I'll come. Venus plug my phone in.
Jupiter: Oh. Cool.
Neptune: I mean if you're that insistent, I don't want to look like a jerk by saying no.
Jupiter: Haha. Rad. Are you good, Venus?
Venus: Yeah, I'll unpack.
Jupiter: Holler if you need anything.
This place looks like it was a greenhouse once. But at some point it was filled with furniture, like someone tried to live here and gave up, or died because it was a fucking greenhouse. There is a bed that was probably very nice, but npw it is growing poppies, and blue mushrooms are growing out of a lampshade by the nightstand, so we suppose the shack is now a greenhouse again. Neptune searches a beautiful enormous dresser nurturing an ivy with white bell-shaped flowers, while Jupiter brushes leaves away to open the doors of a tasteful kitchen cabinet.
Jupiter: There is a new kind of lily in each shelf.
Neptune: This place is honestly the weirdest.
Jupiter: Really. Here, come look.
Neptune: Oh wow. I'm revising my opinion. Maybe the captain is a true genius.
Jupiter: Do you think he did this?
Neptune: I hope not, then I'd have to like him.
Jupiter: Ha. Oh here, you should see this one-
The wood is warped or rotting which we knew before she put her weight on it, but didn't know well enough, because the door and then half the cabinet and then the whole cabinet slough away. We pull each other out of the way. The collapse of the cabinet sounds like the wet wood yawning and screaming for a full minute.
Neptune: Are you okay?
Jupiter: Oh... yeah. I'm fine.
Neptune: Okay.
Jupiter: I'm fine, I was just... For a moment it was the funniest thing in the entire world. I mean of course, right? I just walk in here and without even trying instantly cause the biggest possible disaster to happen. It was so pretty too... ANd now it's just impossible to put back together ever. Maybe I'm a genius at getting things wrong too. Ahaha.
Neptune: It is absolutely gone forever, Jupiter.
Jupiter: I know, but I should have-
Neptune: Jupiter I promise on a stack of bibles it's not your fault and I will slap your face if you say it was. I will punch you in the face for every word you say. I am so for real.
Jupiter: ...Ha. Thank you. I wasn't really going to. I promise.
Neptune takes her hands off Jupiter's shoulders. We look around. Jupiter snaps her hairband against her wrist. But for a moment after it feels like we are holding each other. We can feel the hands, like they're right there in the air.
Neptune: Good. I mean like, aren't you doing fine? Aren't you trying harder than literally everyone else here? You're so chill about everyone's bullshit it makes me so mad and then you won't extend even the slightest of that chill to yourself and that makes me EVEN SO MADDER. Can't you just be a little less... good?
Jupiter: I promise... I promise to try, at least. Well... sort of.
We're supposed to sleep in shifts, but no one actually told us how we're supposed to do that. Who can fall asleep in an instant and wake up in an instant, on demand? Not us. Jupiter is bad at waking up and Venus is bad at falling sleep and Neptune is fantastic at both on no schedule but her own. One way or the other sleeping sounds like too much work so we're not going to do it.
Venus: If we had one more we could play euchre... is there anything fun to play with 3 people?
Neptune: No.
Venus: There's... lots of things. Maybe...?
Neptune: Let's not though.
Jupiter: I miss euchre.
Neptune: Surely there has to be something better we can do with our lives.
Jupiter: ...
Venus: ...
Neptune: I'm very upset at you both.
Jupiter: Ummmm what are the things normal kids are supposed to do in this sort of situation? Like... truth or dare, or something?
Neptune: That's a bad idea.
Venus: That's a really bad idea.
Neptune: That's a great idea.
Jupiter: I guess it's an okay idea.
Venus: Well, it's not terrible...
Neptune: Great, everyone agrees, it was a wonderful idea.
Jupiter: Neptune, you go first.
Neptune: Why?
Jupiter: Because seniority.
Venus: I'm the oldest though?
Jupiter: Then because for some other reason.
Neptune: ...fiiiiiiine.
Jupiter: So... how do you play truth or dare?
Neptune: Oh my god. Are you for real.
Venus: You alternate truth or dare, and you go around in a circle, and whoever-
Neptune: I need to save you two from yourselves. *Cough, cough*
Jupiter: Oh, that sounded fine to me...
Neptune: No. *Cough* Everyone shut up and listen to me. If I go first, LIKE YOU JUST SAID, I ask you truth or dare and then YOU pick and then I think of something horrible. Okay? I cannot believe either of you.
Jupiter: ...ohhhhhhhhhh wait then-
Neptune: It's too late, you already said I could go first. Own it.
Neptune: Your entire camp experience is defined by someone making you do something awful, and you want to pick dare?
Venus: But you won't right?
Neptune: Venus. That is the most dangerous thing you have ever said and it explains everything about why terrible stuff happens to you all of the time.
Venus: Oh.
Neptune: So. Do you want to pick something else.
Venus: Um. But truth is way worse?
Jupiter: Truth is just embarrassing, but with a dare you could get hurt, right?
Neptune: See, Jupiter gets it.
Venus: Would you pick truth too?
Neptune: Absolutely, I don't want to move or do anything and there's nothing you can think of to ask me that would be embarrassing.
Venus: Hmmm. I think I still want to pick dare though?
Neptune: ...
Venus: I mean, it's kinda like Jupiter said? Truth is embarrassing and dares could get you hurt. Getting hurt is way less scary.
Neptune: That's almost pretty clever, but what if I dared you to do something really embarrassing?
Venus: Well... oh...
Neptune: I could make you wear a skirt or run around the lake or call Group South the worst thing you could think of. These are so boring and obvious too. Think if I had some imagination, Venus. It can get so much worse. Being awful is so trivial. It's easy beyond easy.
Venus: ...should I pick truth then?
Neptune: "Tell me who you have a crush on." "What's your worst fear." "Who do you hate the most?" See? This is so easy. Get it, I can-*cough* I-*cough cough*
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: *cough* Haahhh.
Venus: It doesn't matter which I pick?
Neptune: You're still at their mercy. It's a bad game.
Venus: I'm sorry, I dunno what to-
Neptune: Ugh. You can't just apologize- Wait, I got it. I dare you to not say sorry for the rest of the night.
Jupiter: Oh my god.
Venus: I can do that!
Jupiter: ...can he though?
Neptune: No it's perfect. It'll fix something annoying, and this will make everyone's life easier, and all of us win.
Venus: Is it really annoying?
Neptune: You shouldn't have to apologize for things you don't need to apologize for.
Venus: Sorry. Whoops...
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: ...So what happens now.
Neptune: NOTHING because this game is stupid and sucks and forget it.
Neptune: There's no mercy in truth or dare, Jupiter.
Jupiter: Ha, ha well, I don't really-
Neptune: I absolutely will know if you're lying. Don't dare.
Jupiter: Okay.
Neptune: I will know.
Jupiter snaps her hair tie against her wrist.
Jupiter: Well- Then you already kno-
Neptune: Just kidding. That's a dumb question.
Jupiter: Oh. That's fine.
Neptune: It'd be so boring anyway. It's not like I can actually imagine you fawning over some dude.
Jupiter: Ahaha. What's that supposed to mean?
Neptune: You just aren't the sort of person who'd chase after someone. Like you wouldn't let them think they were worth that kind of effort if they didn't deserve it or let them think they were better than you if they weren't. And who is, anyway? No one's that cool.
Jupiter: Haha, thanks, I think that was a compliment? Though, probably no one is ever going to want to date me.
Neptune: Do you want anyone to date you?
Jupiter: ...is that your truth or dare question?
Neptune: Damn it. You're too sharp.
Jupiter: Neptune, you're the sort of person who'd wish for infinite wishes first thing just in case it worked, right?
Neptune: HEY. WHose turn is it, huh?
Jupiter: Aw. ...but I wouldn't have had an interesting answer either. I would have just said I'd only want to date someone if someone wanted to date me.
Neptune: ...you're doing it again.
Jupiter: What?
Neptune: You're-*cough* *gulp* *Cough* never mind, you win. Venus, you should pay attention, this is how you get out of playing stupid games.
Venus: Ah! Okay.
Jupiter: So whose turn is it?
Neptune: OH NO YOU DON'T. I told you that wasn't the question! You just went and answered it on your own.
Jupiter: Haha, fiiiine. You got me.
Neptune: No excuses.
Venus: Um... I guess that's fair?
Neptune: Of course it's fair. If there's no answer it doesn't count. Okay, then, here it is. Ready?
Jupiter: Totally.
Neptune: Truth-who does Venus have a crush on?
Venus: UM????
Jupiter: Hmmm. Wait, what if I get it wrong.
Neptune: Then you're in trouble.
Venus: Still??? Not fair????
Jupiter: Guess I need to get it right then! Hmmm. Oh it's totally... You.
Venus: UMMMMMMMM???
Neptune: Not. Absolutely not. Illegal.
Jupiter: Aw, why not? It's cute. He has good taste?
It always seems like the sun will never set until we look up and find it already has. The sirens buzz a little louder now; they always buzz louder at night. The devil is weak and humans are strong, and that is the way it always has been. Even a kid can kill the devil. All she has to do is try.
Neptune: I'm... bored.
Venus: We should make the rounds... maybe?
Neptune: We should do something else.
Jupiter: We should make the rounds.
Venus: Or we could... do something else?
Jupiter: Come on. We have to. It might be nothing but if we don't check we'll get in trouble. Or die. You know.
Jupiter pulls herself up by her radio. It's long and thin and delicate, but then there's that awful weight at the end.
Jupiter: Let's all go. Bring your radios.
Venus: And leave everything else?
Jupiter: Yeah, why not? It's not like anyone's going to steal it.
Venus: What if he comes by when we're gone?
Jupiter: Mmm. That's true...
Neptune: Ugh. Who cares.
Jupiter: The captain... a lot, probably.
Neptune: Ugh.
Jupiter: I know.
Venus: But it's not good for one of us to be alone.
Neptune: That's why there shouldn't be three of us in the first place. This is such a joke.
Venus: It makes sense for two people to go out and one to stay here...
Neptune: Ugh. Yeah. Fine.
Jupiter: ... Yeah. We should do something else, actually. Truth or Dare again?
Neptune: Oh come ON. After all that? You already convinced me!
Venus: The sirens are louder tonight... I can definitely hear something-
Jupiter: No forget it, I don't want to. Let's just not. He's never gonna know. And tonight's just going to turn out to be another night where nothing happens, right? I don't want to... Let's just stay here.
Neptune: That's what I was SAYING.
Venus: What if the captain comes checks on us?
Neptune: Nah. He's going home with his girlfriend or whatever she is tonight. Irresponsible. Gross. Whatever. It's so him. He's not going to bother us and even if he did we could say we were totally just about to or we already did and how's he going to know.
Venus: Cool. Good.
Jupiter sits down and gently leans her radio against the wall. It's an easy and correct choice to make. It would have been nice to go together, but we can't. We should do the irreponsible thing and stay in the sleeping bags and piles of clothes until we're happy.
Jupiter: Ah, here come the sirens.
Venus: ...no, ow, they're so loud.
Neptune: God, why won't he shut up.
But god has spoken, on that unmistakeable frequency.
Jupiter: It'll be fine, they won't get me that easily. I'll broadcast from my radio, and you'll be able to hear it and come home.
Venus: It won't be hard.
Neptune: But I don't want to do it.
We leave Jupiter swinging her radio and tuning the house radio. The trails through the woods are wide and precise. Camp is supposed to be an easy adventure. The minimum expectations are low: Don't walk off the path. Keep the lights on. Don't let the devil into your heart. Anyone can do that.
Neptune: Well, I guesssss that didn't work. We were so close though... we totally could have gotten her to let us all stay.
Venus: Mmm? Oh, I know... sorry. I started trying to convince her we should stay, once I realized what you were doing. She likes being alone though, so I think she'll be okay.
Neptune: It's fine. It was silly to try. She's too responsible.
Venus: ...do you think she hates us. It's not even her fault she's at the Summer Scouts, like it's ours-
Neptune: Venus can you shut up? Please?
Venus: Oh. Sorry.
Neptune: Jupiter doesn't hate anyone. She's like an ascetic monk at not giving a shit. People stop walking over her because she's doesn't care enough for them to get a rise and that's the only reason people do that. It's so annoying. Why do you care about what she thinks?
Venus: I don't know... I think she's cool? I don't wanna be a bother.
Neptune: Ugh of course she's cool. She's just all half smile and 'ah, sorry,' and no one bugs her about anything ever. Do you not kinda hate that she's so cool?
Venus: Why? I wish I could be like that.
Neptune: Because it's fake! No one is that invincible. If it hurts you should say so! People are supposed to get hurt by things. It's fucked up to not. It's not good for you. You too Venus! Have a little more self respect.
Venus: I know that. It's not like... I'm stupid. You know. I worry about her too, you know? Don't you want to at least make stuff a little easier for her?
Neptune: No. I want to make it worse. I want to make it so bad she has to say it. I want to hear it out loud. She shouldn't keep living like she's never going to get it off the tip of her tongue. ...
Venus: I... don't think she's ever going to. I really do. Wish I was like her a little. But still- I'm a little glad I'm not her. I wonder if maybe she wishes sometimes she wasn't her either.
Neptune: Maybe. A lot I bet. Maybe all the time.
Venus: Do you ever feel like that?
Neptune: Do I ever what?
Venus: ...sorry, I...
Neptune: What, do you?
Venus: I- I do, yeah.
Neptune: ... ... Let's head back. Sometimes... I do too. It's normal. Let's just get over it.
Venus: Staying in one place is pretty hard but I think I'll manage.
Jupiter: ...what?
Neptune: ...oh wait it's a JOKE.
Venus: Um well, now I feel a little bit less confident but- I know we can't light candles or burn incense without the house catching fire bit I can wrap my radio around the door. And there's no other way in.
Jupiter: Okay, if you're sure.
Neptune: Then let's go. We're not even going to catch the devil anyway so let's just get it over with.
We leave Venus wrapping his radio around the doorknob. He's good at knots, and he's good at switch boxes, and if he's good at anything else, he's never shown us. The woods are noisy with insects and frogs; nothing ever shuts up around here. Nature doesn't care about humans or the devil. But we sometimes think they'd take his side over ours if they got the choice. The world probably resent being nothing more than god's gift to us.
Neptune: Venus is probably fine.
Jupiter: Nah. He's totally going to die.
Neptune: ...both of you sure have the element of surprise when it comes to telling jokes.
Jupiter: Ahaha. ...
Neptune: Are you seriously worried about him?
Jupiter: Maybe. A little. He's weird. Not in a bad way, necessarily? But maybe in a bad way, possibly. Sometimes I don't even know what he is. Do you think he notices how much of a jerk he is sometimes?
Neptune: I wish. He'll be so great if he leans into it on purpose. He'll be just a bitch if he stays like this. No boy is innocent. Or whatever he is.
Jupiter: Well we're all stuck together whatever we are. For the rest of the week.
Neptune: We could just go now. We could run away right now and never come back and never have to know what happened here. The highway isn't even a mile away. ...just kidding. I know you'd never go for that.
Jupiter: ...you say 'just kidding' after a lot of... pretty huge things. Would you go for it?
Neptune: No, it's stupid. Summer scouts is almost over anyway. Some things you just bear with and then it's over.
Jupiter: Haha, that is really thoughtful. You don't bear anything quietly though.
Neptune: No why the HELL should I, this place is ruining my entire summer and no one else deserves to forget it.
Jupiter: God, yeah. This place... really is the worst. I'm glad you don't give me a chance to say yes to any of your bad ideas, haha.
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: My eyes feel so weird. My skin feels weird. I hate these bugs and this everything. Nothing could be grosser. Thanks. I'm fine.
Jupiter: Neptune, we- Ah. Nevermind. Yeah. Let's go back.
Neptune: Going out right now sounds like the fucking worst, are you kidding? I'll mark the outside of the house with my radio. And no one who's not us will be able to get in.
Jupiter: Okay, if you're sure.
Neptune: I know you'll miss me, but you'll be fine without me, I promise. The woods are gross. Bye.
We leave Neptune making marks on the outside of the house, precisely, with her radio. She's good at everything but no one but us believes it. And that's just how she likes it. Under the buzz of the insects, the woods are full of the low static of sleeping sirens. They hate him, but the devil flocks to them,like a moth to the flame.
Venus: I hope she's okay.
Jupiter: I'm sure she's fine. Are you really worried?
Venus: A little. Why?
Jupiter: Isn't she mean to you?
Venus: A little. Isn't she mean to you?
Jupiter: A little.
Venus: My mom says that anyone who's mean has been hurt. Which is everyone, so I guess it's kind of a stupid thing to say. My mom is weird like that.
Jupiter: Haha, my mom would never say something like that. She'd say, "no one will respect you if you don't have any manners" or "choose your words for others carefully even if they don't do the same for you."
Venus: That's good advice. Kind of. Right?
Jupiter: She doesn't believe thinking things out is something you can teach. To her you get it or you don't. And until then you should just shut up and do the right thing instead of looking like an idiot. I'm too slow for her, like my dad. It must be nice to be smart and get things quickly.
Venus: It must be such a good feeling. To get things right, and not have to screw up. Not just pretending you understand.
Jupiter: You get diodes pretty well?
Venus: But Neptune knows what everyone means right away. I can't tell when anyone is lying so I just. Believe everything on purpose I guess? When I was fixing the radio in the dining hall, Group South told me a rusty nail would work just as well as galena, and I went along with it... Even though it definitely doesn't work as well, and cuts the range down too far. They wanted me to screw up, like, I know that? But if I pointed it out, they'd just get madder. And say whatever, and not stop until I said they were right, and believed it too, so I just believed them anyway. I got in so much trouble! I don't know why it felt so much easier. I could have explained it. But when I thought about how much trouble I'd get in...
Neptune: You can barely hear the sirens anymore, guys. It's fine. Sit still, you are making me crazy.
Venus: I'm still a little worried.
Jupiter: It's always like this, the devil always shows up when you least expect it.
Neptune: You two are unbearable. All we literally have to do is chill. You can do that, right? Riiiiiiiiiiight?
Jupiter: Um. I can try?
Venus: Well...... not... really...
Neptune: God. I should have known. You are both impossible. I'm so glad I brought this.
Venus: ...!
Jupiter: Oh my god.
The bottle is half drunk and sticky and smells of paint thinner, sugar, and artifical flavoring, and that is exactly what it is along with some additives that will shave years off our lives.
Neptune: No need to praise me too much. You can thank me by drinking this until you're no longer anxious and annoying.
Venus: That's! I'm! Illegal!
Neptune: That is fine because either way I'm gonna drink it until I don't care how anxious and annoying either of you are.
Jupiter: How did you even get that?
Neptune: I traded this fine bottle of Pernicious Rogue for $20 bucks and my three ugliest shades of nailpolish. Aren't I generous?
Venus: I haven't ever had alcohol before.
Jupiter: Oh god it hurts just to smell. Are you sure this is something people can drink?
Neptune: IMPOSSIBLE, the both of you. I swear to god. Sorry it's not an Italian red my darling princesses, I also don't have martini glasses or umbrellas either, but I promise you: adults are lying assholes about alcohol and all this shit is samely awful. What you should be saying is Neptune, thank you SO much for getting some with the chaser already in it! You perfect darling~. You're saving us the embarrassment of throwing up after our first shot and you ask for nothing in return but us to shut the fuck up. You're an angel who doesn't deserve any of this.
Venus: U-um sorry thank you.
Jupiter: "Neptune, thank you SO much for-"
Neptune: Don't get smart with me. I only have two shot glasses, so who's going with me.
Venus: Me? Ummmmm no I really shouldn't thank you for offering but I am-
Neptune: Venus. You are drinking with us.
Venus: B-But we'll get in trouble and it's not allowed and it's illegal-
Neptune: I think you are having a problem understanding the situation here, Venus. Just by being in the same room with this bottle, you are already an accomplice. You will be held just as responsible if we're found out. They won't care at all if you didn't drink. You're already guilty, sweetie.
Venus: Ah... ummmmm...
Neptune: So how about you just give in and drink.
Venus: Well... I...
Neptune: Besides, Jupiter thinks thisis going to kill us so please prove it won't. This is an important service you are doing.
Venus: Um. No promises... that I will live...
Neptune: I won't let you if you don't. Cheers.
Venus: Owwwwwww. This is baddddddddddddd.
Neptune: Ugh. Come. On. Can't you. At Least. Eugh. Put on a good face. BluGH.
Jupiter: Thanks everyone, all by doubts are cleared.
Venus: I feel like my stomach is trying to punch me in the face.
Neptune: Be tougher please.
Venus: NO! I REFUSE utterly.
Neptune: HAHA WHAT are you drunk.
Venus: Lies.
Neptune: Venus you are absolutely tee-totally drunk. This is historic.
Venus: I'm not at ALL. I'll take another shot and prove it. Somehow.
Neptune: You are completely on.
Venus: GOD it's actually worse.
Neptune: I feel nothing. I'm a wall. *cough cough cough*
Venus: How does anyone live long enough to get used to THIS. It's CRAZY????
Neptune: I can't believe you at all, you were so scandalized a minute ago, and yet, you are literally the drunkest person in the whole universe right now.
Venus: You're a jerk Neptune! YOU know what your problem is?????
Neptune: HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME? Oh PLEASE do Venus, I'm SO ready.
Venus: Your problem is that you hate yourself!!!
Neptune: HAHA duh Venus, everyone feels like that, you're going to have to do WAY BETTER.
Venus: No true uhhhhhh... it was something about how... like you treat hating yourself like a competition... I totally had it.
Neptune: Sure you did hun. Drink up. Jesus. This is awful.
Venus: I think I'm warming up to it? HAHA I'M LYING, it feels like death. But like, nice and sugary. I don't care about anything and it's so great!
Neptune: You know what YOUR problem is? It's that you *cough* That you *cough cough* You *cough cough cough* oh god Help *cough* I can't *cough*
Neptune: This is so awfl help me why won't it stop.
Venus: It'll be okay, I don't think we drank that much.
Neptune: It's not the- Oh god. Hurk-
Venus: Oh no.
Neptune: Go away Venus GO AWAY.
Venus: No you have to- Oh... Neptune... what...?
Neptune: I said... go away.
Venus: Neptune... what's going on?
Neptune: I said it's fine.
Venus: It's a lot... it's a lot worse than you said...
Neptune: It's still fine. I promise. I swear. Venus I promise I am not lying about this one. I promise.It'll be better tomorrow. Okay? We just have to get through it. Please. Just... don't tell Jupiter.
Venus: Okay. I won't tell her.
Neptune: Thank you. I'm sorry.
Venus: It's okay.
Neptune: ... Venus, your problem is that you are very nice. But you want something. And you think being nice is going to give it to you. But it never will. And until you figure out what it is you want. Every kindness of yours will be full of that want. Like mine is.
Venus: ... ... ...your problem Neptune is You think being mean is more honest. But you're just as bad as Jupiter. And me.
Neptune: Peer pressure. You're not cool if you don't drink.
Jupiter: Oh no. I am falling for this.
Neptune: Look at me, I'm an after school special, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Who knows what will happen.
Jupiter: Okay okay.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Cheers?
Neptune: Ahaha, your face right now! It's not- ugh.
Jupiter: It's just so... sweet. It'd be easier straight.
Neptune: Wait, this isn't your first time drinking?
Jupiter: My dad sometimes gives me a little. And my mom too, on Sundays. They're really strict though. They want me to like, appreciate it and not do exactly what we're doing and drink horrible shit for the sake of getting drunk.
Neptune: Well it's too late now. You're corrupted forever and the only choice is to drink until you are drunk and hungover so you can learn an important lesson about life and peer pressure and whatever.
Jupiter: Haha okay. I will drink to that.
Neptune: BOTTOMS UP BITCH.
Jupiter: Ugh. Yep. Still bad.
Neptune: ErGGhhh. How do youuu stand ittttttttt. You're barely making a face it's infuriating ANOTHER PLEASE.
Jupiter: I can't stand it it's awful. It's unimaginable. Please show me mercy.
Neptune: Another.
Jupiter: Are you... sure?
Venus: Um. I'm just gonna read.
Neptune: FUCK YOU TAKE THIS SHOT.
Venus: Aaaaaaa UgGHHHHHH.
Neptune: BLUGH I hate this.
Jupiter: What is this flavor. Fruit punch. Or is it green apple? Maybe watermelon...
Neptune: I can't believe you're not even TIPSY. Your father is incredible. Is he Vin Diesel. Is he Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is he Ernest Hemingway. Are you the love child of Vin Diesel and Ernest Hemingway.
Jupiter: Well he doesn't care for women or long sentences, if that counts.
Neptune: HA that's fucking funny! So you HAVE read a book.
Jupiter: I mean, it's not 'cause he's mean or anything he just doesn't LIKE women.
Neptune: Oh. OH. Wait why would HE send you here?
Jupiter: Sometimes we just do stuff so mom will chill.
Neptune: Haha your dad is COOL.
Jupiter: Yeah haha. He really is.
Neptune: ANOTHER?
Jupiter: OKAY. My dad said that humans may have made alcohol, but the devil gave them the idea.
Neptune: Your dad has never been more right about anything.
Jupiter: The worse it tastes, the more evil it makes you. And every kind has its own sort of evil in it. I think... alcohol is incredible like that.
Neptune: It's all the same.
Jupiter: No, no, no! It's so different. It's SO different. Like red wine makes you lascivious but also kind of weepy. And beer makes you lazy but prepared to yell.
Neptune: Oh yeah? Then what does this make you feel?
Jupiter: Hmmmmmm... I feel like I want to break a window?
Venus: Ummmmmm.
Neptune: YOU'RE RIGHT, FUCK. I'M GOING TO THROW UP ON EVERYONE.
Jupiter: Ahaha you are not sober.
Neptune: Neither are YOU miss, it's written all over your smug lazy face, I can TELL, HA, HA, Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Jupiter: Noooooo it's truuuuuuue. This is a tragedy. How will my reputation as #1 untouchable tomboy prude ever recover.
Neptune: God don't complain, I got MOST touchable and it's not even true I'm not half as bad as those sluts in Group Southeast. Leave me ALONE please. People think you're cool, you know.
Jupiter: They are wronggggggg and also jerks. Camp will be over seen anyway.
Neptune: Assholesssssss fuck em. FUCK EM JUPITER.
Jupiter: Hahaha YEAH. Let's do ANOTHER.
Neptune: Ahaha fine- Ugh...
Jupiter: Ahahah you shouldn't drink so fast.
Neptune: Ugh... no. It's not... that.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: Ah god I itch. *Cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...?
Neptune: It's Okay I I... stop... damn it... not ...here.
Jupiter: Come let's go to the bathroom, don't throw up here-
Neptune: I'M FINE. DON'T. *cough cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...!
Neptune: Don't look.
Jupiter: Are... you...
Neptune: I'm fine. I'm fine. Seriously, I'm fine.
Jupiter: ...are you sure?
Neptune: Yeah I'm fine. I just felt a little sick. I can do... ONE more.
Neptune: Fuck off please we're finishing this god damn bottle and nothing will stop me.
Jupiter: Am I drunk? Am I still drunk? This is hard. I don't get it.
Venus: How are you supposed to tell?
Neptune: This bottle is almost empty and you two are babies and that is a100% objective measurement. We are. That thing.
Venus: Drunk!
Neptune: Excellent work, ten points to Hufflepuff.
Venus: Wait stop immediately and say that again.
Neptune: Uhhhhh I mean... Venus is drunk and also hearing things.
Venus: I totally wanted Hufflepuff but the quiz put me in Slytherin.
Neptune: Are you serious. Same.
Venus: Oh my god really? But wait I see it. You're just like what's her name... you know.. Nymphomania something? The one with the Cool Hair and Intense Expression and the Kind of Gay.
Neptune: Exactly, wait-
Jupiter: It was Nymphadora.
Neptune: Oh my god she hates that she goes by her LAST NAME and how the hell are you STILL sober enough to be able to pronounce and remember it?
Jupiter: I'm not drunk.
Neptune: Ha. Ahaha. Venus. Come here.
Venus: O-okay.
Neptune: *whisper*
Venus: I don't know-
Neptune: Do it.
Venus: Okay. Um. Sorry, Jupiter, but Venus says I'm supposed to hold you down until you drink-
Jupiter: I'll drink it.
Neptune: What boo ruined you both are no fun.
Jupiter: Gagh.
Venus: Oh my god.
Neptune: Are you drunk. Is it finally possible.
Jupiter: Ugh. I neeeeeeeeed a seconddddddd.
Neptune: We did it Venus. Thank you for your support.
Venus: That's the power of teamwork and good finding.
Neptune: 10 billion points to us.
Jupiter: Good job you win you two, what are we playing next.
Neptune: What ARE we playing next.
Venus: What a good question!
Jupiter: We already did truth or dare I guess but there's probably something more awful and worse right?
Venus: Oh like seven minutes in heaven?
Neptune: Oh my god perfect. That is the worst, dumbest idea. Yes.
Venus: I thought you were going to say Neptune, so I-
Jupiter: What about Neptune? Why not you. You're safe. You're like a puppy. You're harmless.
Venus: ...did you lose your nerve?
Jupiter: Except when you talk.
Venus: Sorry, I just thought-
Jupiter: You're so fluffy, wow. What do you do to your hair.
Venus: Basically... nothing?
Jupiter: We're friends too, aren't we? It's not weird.
Venus: We're friends?
Jupiter: See what I mean about 'except when you talk.'
Venus: Oh. Sorry. People call any group of kids friends even if they were just forced to spend time with each other and actually kind of hate each other though?
Jupiter: Jesus, Venus. I don't know what to do with you.
Venus: I know. That's why I play dumb most of the time. Like about you and Neptune. But I don't want to get in the way.
Jupiter: ...if you were that worried about me and Neptune, that's actually. A pretty cool friend thing to do. Haha, does that make you my wingman?
Venus: ...
Jupiter: Haha, I am kidding. That is all jokes. You sure are not like other boys.
Venus: Ha. Thank you. It would be a lot easier if I was though.
Jupiter: ..."thank you?" Aha, I finally found a compliment you like. I envy boys a little sometimes too. Isn't that the good thing about them, that they're easier? A more straightforward sort of evil. Boys hate you to your face at least. At least you know how they feel about you.
Venus: ...people say that a lot.
Jupiter: Is it true?
Venus: ...maybe this sounds weird, but... But actually, I don't think the boys are any different? I spend a lot fo time with boys, you know? And they're mad to your face sure, but they're always, always... ...mad about something else too, you know? I don't know how to describe it. They hide what they're mad about by getting mad about something else. And they don't even know it. Like the captain.
Jupiter: What's the captain really mad about, you think?
Venus: I don't know. I thought it must just be being here, like us? But I think that's not everything.
Jupiter: What do you think I'm mad about?
Venus: You're not mad.
Jupiter: What am I then?
Venus: I don't know...
Jupiter: You're lying.
Venus: I thought you said you were getting annoyed because I kept talking about it?
Jupiter: Ahaha. That's so right. What about you, then?
Venus: I'm mad about a lot of things I guess.
Jupiter: Liar. You're not mad. You're jealous. Why are you so jealous. It's flattering. But it's weird.
Venus: I don't know.
Jupiter: We're so mean though. We're mean to YOU.
Venus: You aren't at all. And Neptune isn't...
Jupiter: I wish I could be meaner. I wish I could be so much meaner.
Venus: When you are mean though, it doesn't feel mean. Like you said, we're friends, right?
Jupiter: Yeah. You know, you could be a LITTLE mean, and we wouldn't care.
Venus: I don't want to, though.
Jupiter: Sometimes you're still mean, without meaning to be.
Venus: I know. I hate it. I'd rather get made fun of than be mean.
Jupiter: Hmm. You shouldn't say things like that.
Venus: Why not? I don't want to. I just don't. I know I'm bad at getting anyone to like me and I'm weird and everyone else can deal even though I can't, but I can't. I'm just going to be like this. I'm not going to be any different.
Jupiter: You're asking to get beat up.
Venus: I don't care.
Jupiter: But for real.
Venus: I said I'm fine.
Jupiter: You're frustrating.
Jupiter snaps her hairband. Venus feels something tighten around his neck.
Venus: You-haaH?
Jupiter: Venus? Venus?!
Venus: Ahh-
Jupiter: I've got you, I'm- What is this? What? Whose... hands-?
Jupiter: Um. Where are you, haha. Whoops I think this is a broom.
Neptune: Wow how dare you confuse me with a broom.
Jupiter: Oh no.
Neptune: Just kidding. I'm here.
Jupiter: Oh. I see. Or, I feel, I guess. I can't see.
Neptune: ...we are close.
Jupiter: ...yeah. So... ...um, Neptune-
Neptune: Shh.
Jupiter: No, I-
Neptune: Here- Ah. Oh.
Jupiter: Wow. I- It's not real if we don't say it out loud, right?
Neptune: That's right. No one can prove it.
Jupiter: No one except us.
Neptune: It's your word against mine. A double lock. So it never happened unless we both say it did.
Jupiter: Neither of us is going to be that stupid, right?
Neptune: Of course. We both know better.
Jupiter: I'm, um, kind of an idiot though.
Neptune: You liar. You're much better at keeping yourself quiet. I never would have if I knew you might be stupider than even me.
Jupiter: Sorry. I'm just so-
Neptune: Some things can't be taken back. There are things worse than saying it directly, you know.
Jupiter: Like "this feels right." And "I'm just so happy."
Neptune: Exactly, what are you thinking saying things like that.
Jupiter: I'm not. I'm not saying them. They're things anyone could have said about anybody. They're just in the air. "You mean so much to me." Anyone could have said that, about anyone. Not that I'm saying it.
Neptune: ...you get it. The midwest is great. All you have to do is not say it out loud. It's like a spell. And you can be as obvious as you want about everything else. You can wait it out forever. As long as you don't say it.
Jupiter: I hope I can. But even if I don't say it, I still feel it. Like a hand in the air. Holding tight.
Neptune: It's okay.
Jupiter: Is it?
Neptune: I said it's okay, so it's okay. Stop talking. Stop talking forever. I'm drunk. You're drunk. Can't see anything, double lock, nothing is happening. Your hands, either way... Are nice.
Jupiter: You're right. This is nothing.
Neptune: Ah.
Jupiter: And so is this.
Neptune: Oh.
Jupiter: This too.
Neptune: You get it. Oh. Exactly. Just... nothing. Like that hand in the air, you might think you're feeling it, but...
The room fulls up with static from our radios, and there's another sound mixed in with the static but none of us can tell what it is, whether it's music, or talking, or some sort of sound in between.
Venus: The house radio...
Jupiter: Is it the Captain? Or Group South?
Venus: Is it god?
Neptune: It's not the devil, why aren't the sirens going off? What's wrong with it?
Jupiter: I can't tell.
Venus: I think the signal is too weak...
Jupiter: Let's boost it.
Venus wraps his radio around the house radio, and Neptune plunges hers into the wood. Jupiter lights the coil of incense nestled in the middle of her speaker. It turns red, for a moment.
Venus: I don't think anyone's signaling.
Jupiter: West, Group West. This is Group West. Who's calling me?
Venus: Even the devil can use radio, you know...
Neptune: The devil 'could' do 'whatever' and if you worry about every little thing that's just another way he can get you. Don't you read Lewis?
Venus: We're the only ones out here. There's no one else to come after.
Jupiter: I don't hear anyone. What should we do?
Venus: We could... We could ask god?
Neptune: Ugh.
Jupiter: That sounds kinda...
Venus: No, I promise, it's easy-we just need some extra wire, I just have to open up the radio box, and-
Neptune: Okay, as long as you do all the work I am fine with it.
Jupiter: Someone should go get wire. Venus can stay here and tinker and one of us should spot for him.
Jupiter: I guess I'm going? Scream if something horrible happens.
Neptune: Do the same pkease. As loud as possible.
Jupiter: Aaaarghhhhhhhhhh. Like that?
Neptune: The worst. Try harder or I won't save you next time.
Jupiter: Haha. See you guys later.
Neptune: She's okay I guess.
Venus: Does that mean you like her?
Neptune: Just work on the radio.
Venus: Oh. Um. Is that a no?
Neptune: Are you trolling me on literal purpose.
Venus: ...a little.
Neptune: Wow Venus I'm ALMOST impressed. You are, deep down, kind of a little shit.
Venus: I didn't mean it in a mean way. I wasn't teasing.
Neptune: That's so much worse, Venus.
Venus: I guess I just don't get it? I don't like being mean and I don't want to be mean so I try really hard not to be mean. I don't get any of the 'just kidding' because it's not just kidding. It's just mean. Does it really not bother you when everyone is mean to you?
Neptune: No. I couldn't care less. They are all just simply bad at it. What are they going to make fun of me for?
Venus: ...
Neptune: I DARE you to answer that question.
Venus: N-no I wasn't gonna say anything!
Neptune: Seriously, you totally can though. I'm an evil bad slut right? I'm a bitch and a flirt. I'm a bitch because I let people know when they walk over me. I'm a flirt because buys keep talking at me. And this is somehow my problem, because they can't get over themselves and leave me alone? How is that fair? Why should I get hurt by that? It makes me so mad! Why would I be anything but MAD about all this stupid obnoxious BULLSHIT.
Venus: Oh.
Neptune: Get it?
Venus: Yeah. I think so. I feel like I shouldn't get mad though. Like, you're supposed to turn the other cheek.
Neptune: Ever think people who love to say that just love slapping people?
Venus: Yeah...
Neptune: ...but you don't have to be like that, you know. You're the only boy here I can stand. So I guess, keep doing whatever it is that lets you stay that way.
Neptune: Ughhhhhhhhhh fine I'll go. Have fun fixing it, I hope I am killed in the woods.
Venus: This is kind of stupid.
Jupiter: It'll be fine. Anyway, you suggested it.
Venus: Yeah but... Wht won't the others just come help?
Jupiter: Because we can do it? I guess?
Venus: I hate... I hate being treated like this.
Jupiter: Like what?
Venus: Like a scapegoat.
Jupiter: I mean... that's not it.
Venus: But it totally is. If we were in the normal scouts, they'd rush to help us. They act like real teams and take care of each other and get crystodyne diodes and transformation sequences.
Jupiter: We can get them too. We just have to get through this.
Venus: Right, "try hard."
Jupiter: It doesn't hurt to try... I know it's no guarantee...
Venus: Not everyone in the normal scouts tried all that hard, you know.
Jupiter: Most of them did. Harder than I could.
Venus: Do you think everyone in the normal scouts tried harder than you ever have.
Jupiter: Well...
Venus: If that's true, that it's true. But if even one person who didn't try as hard as you got more than you, you have to say it isn't fair.
Jupiter: ...you sure won't budge on this, will you?
Venus: Doesn't it feel unfair?
Jupiter: It's just reality.
Venus: It's reality on purpose. Reality that's someone's fault.
Jupiter: You can still get better at this, if you try, you know? It's not fair, but it's not the end.
Venus: So?
Jupiter: So...
Venus: When someone rigs it from the start, and then says "try your best!" doesn't that make you mad? Doesn't that make you so inconsolably mad you never want to try it at all?
Jupiter: ...You're hard to figure out sometimes, Venus. Sometimes even more than Neptune is.
Venus: Really?
Jupiter: Maybe I just don't get it... If you put in the minimum you'll be fine. Right? That's what I do.
Venus: Does it work?
Jupiter: Yeah. Well, mostly. Well, better than nothing.
Venus: ...I don't know what's wrong with me. But I can't. Not when it comes to this.
Jupiter: What is "this"?
Venus: Whatever they want out of me that's not fixing radios. To be tougher? To grow up. To-what's that?
And then. Far in the distance. We hear the devil singing. The devil knows our names. Knows us by heart. The devil is behind us and in front of us and above us and below us. In every shadow cast by the flickering lights, in the gap between the pathand the forest, right behind us. And then the devil is gone. We hold each other. As tight as we dare.
Venus: We could also try calling the captain again...
Jupiter: Hmm, yeah, we could-
Neptune: Just stop. I said I didn't care. Just go ahead. Calling will absolutely make everything worse, it always does. If there was any chance the devil wouldn't come, god will ruin it. But who cares. Of course the devil is coming tonight. So do it.
We arrange our radios in a circle. We all hold on to a length of the copper wire. We feel like we're part of a christmas display. We pray.
Neptune: We don't really need to pray to it.
Venus: Sorry. I'm just so used to it. I start hearing it in my head, as soon as we start, every time.
Jupiter: Right? It just pops in my head.
Neptune: *sigh* Same, it's fine. I'm just saying.
We hold hands. We're looking for the signal. We can tell the difference between god and the devil; finding god is pretty easy. He's 109.8 FM. The devil is never on the same frequency, but you sometimes hear a bit of him by accident when you're changing channels. By the time we find god he's already talking. He never says "for those just listening." He expects attentiveness.
God: -shining as Lucifer, the morning star, in the dawn, and symbolizing the arrogance of desiring a beauty that is not god's. Venus 5:23. That which appears to be within grasp, and yet, is ever-
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -of the vanity to be seen and to see. The human eye sees clearly by the light of god, but the devil by his own light, and thus sees only his own truth. The meaning of the parable-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. The fireflies are out tonight. So many we're afraid. We feel a little like we wish we could get away. Just for a little while. To some place that's not this shack. If the devil wasn't here then...something. There is something that could happen. The only thing in the world we want to do.
Neptune: We need to go.
Venus: It's too late. The devil's here. Just like on the radio.
Jupiter: This place is awful, it's just making everything worse. We should get out of here. We need to get out of here.
Venus: The captain won't let us...
Neptune: Screw him. Why do we have to deal with this. Why is this our problem! It's stupid. This is on purpose. There's no reason to come out to these supid woods. I can't believe I came here like we actually deserved it! What did they think was going to happen?
Jupiter: Neptune... It's-it will be okay. Okay? I think.
Neptune: Thanks.
Jupiter: Haha. I tried! Sort of...
Neptune: Ah. Ahahaha. No, I actually-
Venus: What was that?
Out the window, where Venus is pointing, there is a light like a flashlight. But it is not a flashlight.
Venus: What is it.
Jupiter goes to the window to see. And this time it's true. We can see it too. We know we should stay. We should just get it over with here, where it's easiest. It'll be better for him, too. But...
Jupiter: ...we should go.
Neptune: Seriously. God. Yes.
Venus: We shouldn't, I mean, isn't one of us supposed to stay here?
There's a light inside now. It doesn't do anything. It just wanders. It passes over Neptune and she shivers.
Neptune: Screw this. No waiting.
Jupiter: Now.
And we run. First it's left, then it's right, then it's both behind and ahead of us. It's like running from every firefly, it's like running froms streetlights, it's like running from the sun. And they want him so bad.
Jupiter: Come on, we're almost there. You're okay right? Right?
Venus: ...y-yeah.
Neptune: They hate streetlights, we should have run for the road!
Jupiter: I know.
Neptune: I'm not mad, okay! But I was fucking So if we die, you're not allowed to be mad??!
Jupiter: Ahah. That's fair.
Jupiter trips. It's 100% her fault. She's not even upset. She holds Venus under her as she hits the dirt.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Venus: Yeah.
Jupiter leaps up and pulls Venus and crashes directly into the ground again. Her foot hurts so bad she almost screams.
Neptune: No, no, no, nononono. You're okay, aren't you? Please don't be doing this stupid thing that is not happening and not real.
Jupiter: S-sorry. Ohhhh god. Fuck. It's super bad.
Neptune holds Jupiter's hand so tight.
Jupiter: It's probably... going to be fine.
Neptune: Fuck you.
Venus stands up. The lights flicker.
Venus: Why. Why are you protecting me. Why won't you let me... Why can't you just let it have me. Why won't you go on without me. Why won't you? I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be that sort of person at all. The lights in the edge of my eyes. I want to see them so much. They're so horrible, I can't look away. I want them within and without me. All through and about me. I want feathers in my lungs and eyes on my skin. I want my heart to see and my lungs to fly. I want to undo the division of day and night. I want to cast light over the city and shine shadows where the streetlights used to be. You're gonna to say I shouldn't give up, and there's hope, and we can all get through this...
Jupiter: Please... don't.
Venus: And that's not a lie but...
Neptune: Venus, no, get a grip. Stop. I prmoise, I won't-
Venus: It's nobody's fault but mine.
Jupiter holds Neptune. For a second it look slike the light is lifting him up, like he's going up like Jeremiah. It's exactly what we imagined. We're so glad we're together now. But it still feels wrong. Stop for a second, and let us figure it out. But we don't deserve to get out with no regrets. We are ready, and we can see the way out, is right there, right through there.
4 AM
Venus is a suffocation of air and light, a midwest summer sun so punishing it feels like a dream. A summer that never ends is hell. Nothing could be worse than being hot and stick and surrounded by people who aguely hate you forever. A wet timeless nightmare of cloudy light. Venus reaches out to us. She has eyes to fly with and wings to see. As terrible as an angel, be afraid. That wing to see the truth and that eye to lay it bare. We feel the heat on our skin and recoil. It wants something from us, a lot of things, maybe everything. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it must miss us. It keeps begging to be let back, to let it in. And Venus did. Every wish of the eyees belongs to it. Nothing can escape this light. But we do. We can't feel the beat of the wings or the light of the eyes. We can't be seen. We chose to cover our faces. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for love, for "please see me." But there is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Neptune brings the water. Her radio cackles and bubbles and foams at its sharpest edge. Jupiter brings the storm. Her radio blares and shrieks and the weight of it shudders. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
We're on the second highest branch, so we can see everyone, but no one can see us. Everyone else is climbing around the sirens, checking if we can get them any louder in the daylight.
Jupiter: Good job, kiddo.
Venus hangs from the highest branch he can. Steam peels off him. Nothing we can do about that but let it blow into the wind. A little bit of the devil always gets away. Neptune crushes a leaf in her fingers. Jupiter holds her other hand. Like we need to.
Neptune: How much longer do we have?
Jupiter: Until it's all gone, probably.
Neptune: All day?
Jupiter: If we're lucky.
Neptune: Good.
Neptune checks her phone. But it's out of batteries.
Neptune: I'm so tired.
Jupiter: Me too.
Neptune: Don't be tired. If I fall asleep, who's going to stop me from falling?
Jupiter: I don't know. I guess we're both going to die.
Neptune: Haha.
Jupiter: ...I promise I won't actually, though.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Otherwise I'll die, right?
Neptune: Right. Is your leg okay?
Jupiter: Yeah. So don't let me fall either.
Neptune: Ha. Okay. So say if Venus falls, I'll catch him, and then you'll catch me?
Jupiter: I'll totally try. But I think we'll definitely all die if that happens.
Neptune: In that case, you shouldn't then.
Jupiter: I shouldn't. But I probably totally would. Wouldn't I be so cool? Like a real hero.
Neptune: Ahahaha. You totally would. It'd be funny. ...not sweet at all.
God: -a method for the extraction of bile. Create an incision on the middle finger. All the water of the body can be thought of as a single ocean, as one drop-
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -and extract the resulting ink. Place in a vial and explain it to the worthlessness of the treasures of the earth. Break it against a mirror, the cause of vanity-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. Sometimes it's okay to be quiet. It is nice to know we don't have to talk sometimes. But Neptune can't wait. She's coughing and running down the battery of her phone. She looks worried. Or maybe just itchy.
Jupiter: Neptune.
Neptune: Yeah?
Venus: Umm... are you okay...?
Neptune: Yes.
Venus: Ah. S-sorry.
Neptune: *cough*
Venus: Are you okay?
Neptune: I said-*cough*-God. I'm fine.
Jupiter: You're totally not.
Neptune: Ugh. You're making it worse. I need to throw up.
Venus: Again?
Neptune: Yeah-*cough, cough*-again.
Jupiter: Are you sure you're okay?
Neptune: I'm fine, I'm fine. I need to go to the bathroom. You did the best you could.
It's quiet. But it's not okay anymore. We shiver whenever Neptune coughs. Even through the bathroom, ti sounds louder than ever. Jupiter knocks on the door.
Jupiter: You sound really bad, can we get anything?
Neptune: No.
Jupiter: Do you want to go back, I mean, we can if you-
Neptune: I TOLD you, it's *cough*
Venus: Jupiter, she's-
Neptune: I'm fine.
Jupiter: Neptune. Please open up the door, okay.
Venus: Please, you gotta open up.
Neptune: I'm FINE.
Venus: Please.
Neptune: I'M FUCKING FINE.
Jupiter: You have to come out.
Neptune: Okay. Okay. You asked me to come out. So I'm coming out.
The door opens and it's her but it's not her. She grabs Venus and crushes him against the wall like he's just a little doll.
Neptune: Ha. Sorry. Stay good there Venus. Drink up.
Neptune lets the ichor drizzle off her finger. Like it's chocolate syrup. Jupiter screams and pushes her but Neptune won't even flinch. She ignores her completely.
Neptune: At least YOU know how to be decent, ha.
Jupiter punches her but she can't even move her.
Neptune: Calm your tits, Jupiter, I just need like a minute.
Jupiter slams her body into her.
Neptune: I promise to be an incredible nightmare to you too babe just wait a MINUTE.
Jupiter runs to their packs and she pulls out her radio. It's long and thin and heavy and she takes it and she swings it and she crashes the blunt of it right against Neptune's shoulder and she crumples to the ground. Jupiter grabs Venus and bolts. Neptune is already on her feet again. She just watches. Jupiter holds her radio with one hand and Venus with the other. He claws for support against the wall. It doesn't look like he can see.
Neptune: Oof. Sorry, I lied. But you should have known better. You kids are trying so hard to be good. And I guess I don't want you to. Doesn't it feel unfair? You're already good, so why do you have to try so hard to be good? It makes me mad. They want you to prove you're good. But you're already so good. What is that? Why do they do that? Why did they think I wouldn't notice that? That it should so obviously be me. That it should so obviously be you. It makes me so, so mad. I hate this place so much. Why are either of you here? Why do we have to be here?
Jupiter: Please stop. Please. Please stop. Let's just. We don't. It doesn't.
Neptune: God just stoppppp. Please. I hate this. I am trying to fuck up Venus for the rest of his entire life and you too if you if you let me and if you want to stop that I guess there is a problem and you will have to kill me. Does that kid look happy to you? Well I guess we have different opinions and you will have to stop me from making him into what he is trying very hard not to be. And Jupiter I want to do the same to you so badly. So, so badly.
Jupiter: Please-
Neptune: No. I don't want to be good ever. And neither of you should want to be good either.
Jupiter tightens her grip on her radio. Venus holds her shoulder.
Venus: I'm okay.
Neptune: Ha. Try not to kill me, okay? But don't like, go out of your way or anything.
4 AM
Her stare is as quiet and black as the surface of the lake, like she's tempting us to drown. The only chill of summer is in that lake, and even in August, it still holds places we can freeze to death. Neptune reaches for us. She's a flood, of every wicked thought, and they are pouring out of her mouth. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it misses us. It keeps begging to be let back, for us to let it in. And Neptune did. Every terrible thought belongs to it. Water to give, and thirst to take. Nothing can escape this flood. But we will. Neptune can't stain us. We chose to stay clean. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for desire, for "please think of me." But there is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Venus brings the light. His radio whines and wriggles and coils around itself. Jupiter brings the storm. Her radio blares and shrieks and the weight of it shudders. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
We have to drain Neptune and the lake. So we hang our feet off the endge of the bridge over what's not a gross dirty crater while the rest of the groups hack and pick away to make sure nothing's left. The Captain says we don't have to do anything but keep Neptune clean, which is our reward we guess. But it's probably just to punish everyone else for not seeing it coming. Behind us, Neptune is draining on an ugly blue tarp. We used to have to change it every half hour. It's running a little clearer now. So we change it. Jupiter puts on rubber gloves and gently picks her up and Venus bundles it up and throws it in a nasty green dumpster.
Venus: How long, you think?
Jupiter: It feels like it's getting closer. But it feels like it might take forever, too.
Venus: Hey. Neptune?
But Neptune isn't going to talk. We sit by the lake again.
Venus: Some of my friends, I talk with a lot. But other ones I don't. Like we don't do small talk. Speak only when necessary. But they're still my friends. I wonder how that works?
Jupiter: My mom says that if you really know someone you don't have to check in so much? Like it's just obvious how you feel. I don't know how true that is. I don't know if worked for her all that well, now that I think of it. I guess for some things words don't work very well, though.
Venus: That's true. I guess we have a lot of time to figure this out.
Jupiter: Yeah.
We go to check on Neptune. We ask her if she can speak, but words or no words, nothing gets through.
God: -a hand held against the world. To be touched and to touch; touch is a language unto itself. And it too is a language of power. Thus unti Jupiter, which is also the language of gravity, according-
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -the fist which can give takes too, and gives by taking , or takes by giving. Just as a word is honest or dishonest not by how it is spoken, but by he who speaks it, so is the honesty of touch-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. Jupiter has a feeling about her, like she knows too. The house creaks, like someone is squeezing it gently, to see how much it can take before it breaks. We look at Jupiter and we worry. She's even more far away than usual. What do we do? We're expecting her to know. But right now she looks so tired. She just snaps her hairband against her wrist. And we know.
Jupiter: We can wait.
Venus: ...can we?
Jupiter: Sure we can. We can keep waiting. Dawn is three hours away, right? It'll be here before we know it... We don't need to know who the devil is. It's just a phase. ...right? Come on. You're supposed to agree. It's a good idea. Make fun of me then go along with it. Please.
Venus: Um, w-we-
Neptune: We know. It's obvious.
Jupiter: I know you know. I didn't think you were dumb, I just... ...was hoping.
Venus: We can feel it. It's like a moth flapping its wings but I can feel fingers on my face and my arms and everywhere.
Jupiter: Ahaha. Gross. I'm gross. I feel so distant. When did it happen? It feels like just a few hours ago everything was fine... Ha, this always happens. I always do this, every time I'm so stupid I'm so- Ah- My hairband broke.
There is a horrible sound, the terrible noise of splitting and tearing wood. It's sick. The house shivers.
Neptune: -!
We can't reach her, we can't speak, not in this storm of hands.
Jupiter: Don't touch me. You shouldn't touch me. I wasn't born good. But I still thought I could be. You know, I actually liked when the captain talked about how heaven was on merit; as long as you do good things, maybe you can one day be good... But then they said we don't believe that anymore and it's only what's in your heart that matters. Just when I thought I got it right, they changed it. I can try hard, but I think... God knows my heart isn't really in it. And that was my only shot, right? Mom taught me to not touch others. It's just polite, you know. And dad taught me not to let others touch me. You gotta protect yourself if you're a girl, you know. But if it's only what I feel inside that matters, what am I supposed to do? I can't stop that kind of touch. So what if I just stopped trying not to, you know? It feels so strange and weird and bad to stop but I could, I really could, I think? And how nice would that be.
The humidity is thick with hands. We feel the sweat peeling off of us, and the hands grasping. The devil comes in heat, not like a chill in the middle of the night. The devil sticks to your skin and seeps in your pores. The devil licks at your throat, inside, outside, follows wherever you go. Even the best kid has the devil inside her. This is why we are at camp. We are learning this lesson: even the worst kids can get lucky and live while the good kid is doomed just from trying too hard. We hold each other.
Venus: If you can't, if you really can't, Jupiter, then...
Neptune: We don't care.
Venus: We don't care.
Neptune: You can be like that and it's fine, you know we're like that too right? We feel like that all the time?
Venus: We would have just given up, if it wasn't for you.
Jupiter: Ya'll are sweet. But don't do that. I won't be happy if you do. And I won't let you. It's wrong to want such a thing, you know that, don't you? So don't do it. I still know that much. Stop looking up to me.
Venus: We don't look up to you.
Neptune: We never did.
Venus: We promise, so-
Neptune: So please-
Jupiter: Don't try to make me feel better. I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you're as bad as me. I was hoping yo'd say, 'get behind me' or 'I rebuke you' like you're supposed to. Won't you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?
Neptune: We don't have to like it.
Venus: At least give us that much.
Jupiter: Haha. Okay.
4 AM
On Jupiter there is an acient storm bigger than earth that's been blowing since before we were born. There's no way to imagine it. It is a storm that could consume everyone you knew, everywhere they had been, the site of every thought and feeling himans have ever had. Jupiter reaches out to us. She has a hand for every kind of touch; that hand is for hitting, that hand is for petting, that hand is for grabbing, that hand is for holding. We feel the pull on our skin and recoil. They want so many things from us; maybe everything. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it must miss us. It keeps begging to be let back, for us to let it in. And Jupiter did. Every wish of the body belongs to it. And every wish is a hand, expressing that desire. And every hand is a storm that is bigger than the world, reaching for us. But it will not. The hands don't touch us and the storm doesn't break over us. We chose to be distant from her. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for love, for "please take me back." There is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Neptune brings the water. Her radio cackles and bubbles and foams at its sharpest edge. Venus brings the light. His radio whines and wriggles and coils around itself. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
Venus: Did she do it on purpose?
Neptune: Maybe a little. Or maybe a lot.
Venus: At least a little.
Jupiter just looks so peaceful. It was the first thing that came to mind. We both thought it would be us. So it still feels strange to be looking at her like this. Not in a bad way. We're not upset at her. We just want to know why. Because it was so clear for us.
Neptune: Back when we were walking to the campfire... I thought it would be me. I was so sure. I guess I'm wrong sometimes.
Venus: For me it was. I think... when we were putting up the lights? I already saw it in the corner of my eye. and then when Group South came, I felt so, well, you know...
Neptune: Yeah. I know.
The smell of incense is awful enough in here, but outside the tent, the groups are trying rags to their faces to endure the smell while they try to smoke the whole forest out. We have the privilege of being on watch.
Venus: It shouldn't have been her. ...normally you're like "don't patronize me."
Neptune: No, you are right. It should have been one of us. Either one of us. I don't care which.
Jupiter moves in her sleep. Venus moves a candle out of her way.
Neptune: You're very attentive.
Venus: Thanks. I keep thinking...
Neptune: Don't worry about it. What are we going to do, fight over which of us hates ourself more? What's the point. Neither of us can beat her.
We hold hands. Or, it turned out, we already were.
The Devil sounds like smoke and honey. We cannot move. It's too beautiful.
The Devil: Oh, darling... I miss you. I have always missed you. I can still remember what your faces are like. I have missed them since before you were born. Please come back. I know I can't offer much. The bodies I can give you are weak. The stories I tell are impossible. My world is even more precarious than this one. But please come back. It hurts to see you like this so much. So unhappy in those bodies of yours. Stricken by those stories. Forced to live in a so much pain. I can't even come save you. But I can promise one thing. There is room for three in my world. And only two in his.
3 AM
We know the devil.
Venus: Oh. She was nice.
Jupiter: The captain was right. God is right. We're dead.
Neptune: Wow. We are truly completely objectively theologically absolutely the worst.
Jupiter: It's my fault. I put the radio on the wrong frequency. How could I be so stupid? How could I fuck up so bad... They will never, ever forgive us. Oh... Here they come... The sirens are calling. The scouts are coming. I don't want to go through that terrible moment.
Venus: It'll be fine. One hit, one second beautiful blessed scout attack. And we'll wake up and everything will be normal. And all will be forgiven. ...mostly. Right?
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Neptune?
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Neptune?!
Neptune yanks the antenna off of the house radio.
Neptune: If god hates the devil so much he should kill it himself. But instead just a bunch of assholes and kids like us are going to come.
Neptune kicks the speakers.
Neptune: And they're all fucking jerks! What do they know!
Jupiter grabs her.
Neptune: Let go of me! The devil rules!
Jupiter: Neptune, stop...
Neptune: What else are we supposed to do? If the devil is like, "you all are cool," what else are we supposed to do? Let's hang out with him! So let go. Let go of me!
Jupiter: But, but I I don't want to. I can't. I just can't let go.
Neptune drops the antenna.
Neptune: Jupiter.
Venus: Where is the devil? If he's supposed to be here.
Jupiter: We know the devil. And it's us, right? It has to be.
Venus: Why?
Jupiter: Because, obviously?
Venus: But where is it?
Jupiter: Don't make me say all the reasons why it's so clear we deserve it.
Venus: But...
Jupiter: Stop.
Venus: Where... it's got to be...
Neptune: This is awful.
Jupiter: I know.
Neptune: Let me wreck it.
Jupiter: No.
Neptune: Uhhhhhhhh fuck you! Why are you so good. Let go of me, hail satan!
Jupiter: It's not gonna work just like that, you know.
Neptune: You don't know that.
Jupiter: People are much stronger than the devil.
Neptune: If it weren't, would it be fine? You'd fight if we could win, right?
Jupiter: Stop that's awful.
Neptune: You're awful! You're being good for people that fucking hate you and you're good even if you say you're not good because what else kind of person would hate themselves but someone who was really good.
Jupiter: I'm not-
Neptune: I'm so mad, why not martyr yourself for US this time! For YOU! You deserve-
Venus: Found it.
And there is Venus. Like a flower, Venus is in bloom. Like a heart, Venus is beating. Like a soul, she is shining like a soul.
Venus: I am the devil.
Her arm lies on the floor. It's a pale, bloodless thing. Someone else's body now. Not hers.
Jupiter: Oh my god.
Neptune: The devil rules.
Venus: I pulled and it just came off. I don't want it anymore. Let me leave it there.
Neptune: Did it hurt?
Venus: No, not even a little.
Neptune: The edges look rough...
Jupiter: You shouldn't touch it.
Neptune: Here... is that okay?
Venus: Yeah...
Neptune: Wow. It really does come right off. It feels like plastic. Where did the blood go? This is so cool. Your arm is so soft. What is it made of, you think?
Jupiter: You should get away.
Neptune: What's Venus gonna do?
Jupiter: He's the devil.
Venus: So are you.
Jupiter: ... ...we should stop.
Venus: It's like... I didn't realize how much my body was, bothering me, all the time, before? And when they're peeled off it finally feels like I don't have to think about them so much. Like normal.
Jupiter: We're stronger than this. It's not normal. It's not good. It's not okay.
Neptune: But we don't have to be.
Venus: I don't want to be.
Neptune: Why should we?
Jupiter: Because. Just because you want to do something doesn't mean you should do it.
Neptune: Okay. Sure. Which one of us should it be, then? Who's going to get in trouble for being the devil, and who's going to get away? All that matters, all we need, is for one f us to be just a little worse than the others. And the rest of us will be fine.
Jupiter: Stop. Don't say this. It's so ugly.
Neptune: No. It's fine. It's normal. It happens every day. The captain said so.
Jupiter: No, it's fucked up. It's evil. I don't want it. Of course I don't want that.
Neptune: I know. You're a really good person. Of course it's ugly.
Venus: What's ugly isn't having choosing one to be the scapegoat. What's ugly is we have to choose at all.
Neptune: It's because you think it's ugly too- That I like you so much, Jupiter.
Jupiter: ...no I-stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. This can't be happening. Venus needs his-her-arm back and you both need to stop saying those things because I know them okay? Obviously I know them. I'm not stupid. I know camp and the captain and everyone is messed up. But what else do you expect me to do? I want to leave this camp, this state, this planet. But I can't. I just can't. It's like a reflex. I can't stop it. I don't know what to do. I'm not making any sense. Help. Stop. Let's just go back. Before it's too late.
Neptune: Jupiter, come here.
Jupiter: W-what.
Neptune: Feel.
Neptune takes Jupiter's hand.
Neptune: Did you know I hate this? I hate it so much. And everyone who says I'm pretty just makes me hate it more? Jupiter. We could still go back. But if you try to make me I'll kill you. Don't make us have to keep those bodies we hate. Don't make us go back to those people. Don't make us have to go home. And I won't let you do that to yourself either.
Jupiter: ... ... ... ...of course I don't want to. I don't want to do that you. I don't want to do that to me. I don't want to do that to Venus. Could you just... Couldn't you just make me?
Neptune: Do you want it to not be your fault? Do you want me to make you, so you don't have to take responsibility?
Venus: That's sweet.
Neptune: No. I'm not. I won't do that for her. She has to say yes.
Venus: That's also kind of sweet.
Jupiter: ... ...I'm scared.
Venus: It's okay. We promise. We really promise.
Jupiter: But you need to promise too. Promise me hell is right there, right behind that door. All of it. Promise, really promise, there's no going back. If that's really true, if you can really promise me, then I'll go, and I won't feel bad about it at all. Promise me there's no chance, okay? If I taste what it's like, I know, there's not way I'll be happy being human ever again.
Venus: If I have to be in my old body again. I'll die. So if you also promise, that I won't ever have it again, what I will promise you, is I won't drag you down. I'll stop thinking you're so cool. I won't ever envy again.
Neptune: I promise, when you say you are fine, I will never stop yelling at you until you stop lying.
Venus: Haha.
Jupiter: Ha.
Neptune: Don't laugh.
There's a song on the dead radio, that's been playing for a while, but now it is so loud it erases every feeling, drowns out every sound. And oh, how beautiful it is.
4 AM
This is the new touch-the feeling of fingers pushing painlessly through our skin, the feeling of the muscle and fat, the weight of it, the intention: it's best friends forever. It's a first kiss. It's a love story. It's imaginable, but it doesn't exist anywhere, not any planet. We're a dream. We're becoming people no other people have ever been. A human that humans are not. We reach out to each other. Unlike Venus, whose body peels off like the shell of an egg, Jupiter is messier, or she would be, if her blood wasn't now lighter than air; it curls like a mist around her. A storm is sure to come. Neptune is starting to run clear. All the ink and sick has boiled away. Venus is really good at helping, and so patient too. She is a fountain, seeping through the floorboards, bringing the flood. Jupiter finds the spot where Venus's shoulder blade is weeping and pulls with as many hands as she can. When it comes out, it stares at them, surprised. As if she can hardly believe she can see. She has a hand for every kind of touch; that hand is for hitting, that hand is for petting, that hand is for grabbing, that hand is for holding. The devil isn't lonely; the cracking, broken radio's song is louder and more lovely every minute. We are our own company now. We asked to be let out. And we let ourselves out. The rest of the kids are coming for us, with god and the radio, ready to undo our wish. But they will not. They won't touch us. One moment is all we need. To share, to yearn, to carve us into the world. There is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. But we can't wait to see what they'll do against the three worst girls since Eve.
5 AM
Camp is much nicer, now that we have made some changes. The right angles were boring and distracting, and it was much too small. The captain has no stories left for us. Neptune would not be satisfied until every lie was gone. There's a crack as Jupiter tears down a siren, so Venus can set up a new kind, tuned to a different station. Group South helps. They don't have to feel like they're supposed to hate her anymore. So they don't. Love shines through, in the end. Neptune lets herself flow into the lake. It's going to take a lot of time before anyone notices if anything is wrong with the water, longer still to figure out where it's coming from. We're hoping we can have a quiet time until then. With all of us. It went very badly with all of them against us three. We can only hope it'll get even worse. As it turns out, they were pretty unhappy in those bodies too. We're not too worried about if more come after us; actually, we hope they send us lots and lots of kids much better behaved than we were. Adults also hate perfect kids who love the world so much they can't stop themselves from saving it. And oh, do the kids know it. Otherwise, they'd never try so hard, would they? So we think they'll like it here too. A new world, with new bodies. How lovely will that be? We have a new apple. For everyone in the world.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Introduction
Jupiter: ...Ow. Ow.
Venus: Oh my god, are you okay!
Jupiter: Oh. Totally. Totally fine. Ow.
Venus: Are you sure, it looked so bad...
Jupiter: Nahhhhhhh it's nothing. It's okay.
[Neptune] It literally looks like it fucking killed you.
Jupiter: I totally... totally promise I am still alive.
Venus: Okay...
[Neptune] Don't fall asleep with a concussion. If you do, I'm calling 911.
Jupiter: Haha I won't.
[Neptune] Do. Please. Take me with you.
Laughing off a head injury isn't all that Jupiter's good at; she has the best grades in class, and coaches make her starter on whatever team has the most pressing need for someone who can do sports. She's a perfect role model, except for how she always misses the winning goal and she always blanks on the last question. She leads when no one else wants to, which is always. Jupiter clutches her head. It hurts a lot. She thinks about hands gently pressing into her temples. It's a relaxing thought, until she feels the texture of fingers on her scalp. Jupiter snaps a hair tie against her wrist.
Jupiter: Are we late already?
Venus: I think we left pretty early?
Jupiter: We've been walking for a long time, though.
Venus: I don't think so? Maybe. Not that long. Well, not too terribly long. I guess it's been kind of a while.
Jupiter: We're not late already are we?
[Neptune] Absolutely. It's 6:06.
Jupiter: Whyyyyyyy.
Venus: Oh no.
[Neptune] I told you so.
Idiot<3Jerkface: Ugh how much longer r u in summer scouts for
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Another week. Fml. This is the worst
Idiot<3Jerkface: I will pray everyone dies
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Stop giving me false hope
Jupiter: We're close. I'm pretty sure. We have to be.
Venus: It's fine as long as we're not the last one there, right?
[Neptune] It is utterly assured that they are already there because they did not have to do any of the complete bullshit we just did.
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Im genuinely sorry for my horrible life.
Idiot<3Jerkface: Happy hunting lmao
RestingWitchFace: [Neptune] Fuk u
Neptune didn't tell us because she was too busy talking with her friends and doesn't care about how much trouble we get into. Or maybe she didn't want us to worry for as long as we didn't have to worry. Neptune is very kind or possibly super mean and hates us. But that's okay. She's really funny. Neptune looks in no way like she's supposed to be here. But that's why she's here, of course. For a moment she's about to say something but it catches in her throat and she coughs instead.
Venus: Oh, over there!
Jupiter: Where?
Venus: See? That light.
Jupiter: I don't see anything.
Venus: It's right there...?
[Neptune] *cough* It's over here.
And there's the bonfire.
Jupiter: We're not too late right?
[Neptune] ...
Venus: ...
The Bonfire Captain: Haha, Group West's finally here. Kinda early for you guys, huh? I didn't hear ya'll swearing, did I?
Jupiter: No, Sir.
Venus: Nosir.
[Neptune] Nah.
The Bonfire Captain: Hahaha. Sure you weren't.
Venus: We promise!
The Bonfire Captain: Oh I believe you. I dunno about the rest, though.
Venus: Ah. Um.
Venus smiles in that way that makes everyone there want to punch him a little, but that's all that it takes for them to forget we were even late. Venus can smile and laugh nervously through anything, and the rest of us are invisible for as long as we can endure the secondhand embarrassment.
The Bonfire Captain: Sit down everyone.
The Bonfire Captain throws more incense in the fire. The sticky sickly sweet smell is the worst thing about camp. It's a terrible blend; termite-eaten wood from abandoned churches, dried daylilies from the sides of country roads, singed wire from burned out radios, dubious apologies, ashes of monsters of the week. Gross. Venus sits with his legs crossed, taking up as little space as he can, which is at most not very much. Neptune remains mercilessly fashionable, watching the other groups like they're the entertainment. Jupiter pulls her legs up and rests her chin on her knees. She's bad at posture. But she is good at being comfortable. She likes the security of holding her whole body. There's a perfect balance of usefulness and liability to the young for which the summer scouts are the most perfect solution.
The Bonfire Captain: Everyone having a good time?
No one is, or has much enthusiasm to fake it.
The Bonfire Captain: I said, is everyone having a Good Time?
But the captain can be motivating.
The Bonfire Captain: I SAID, is everyone HAVING A GOOD TIME?
And doesn't quit until everyone's at least put effort into faking it.
Jupiter: Yay.
Venus: Y-yes!
[Neptune] Yeah yeah.
This is bullshit.
The Bonfire Captain: That's more like it. Still a little quiet in the West.
[Neptune] Fuuuuck him.
Jupiter: *Snort.*
Venus: haha-um, shh.
The Bonfire Captain picks up his guitar. Neptune doesn't even try hide her look of pure offense. None of the counselors like to talk as much as he does. He must feel like he needs to give the sermons since he's in charge, but we know the counselors wish they were somewhere else as much as we do.
The Bonfire Captain: You know, I wasn't the most popular when I was a kid. I got in my share of fights, but I had a couple of guys I was best friends with and we stuck up for each other. Whenever my parents asked if I wanted to bring one of my friends somewhere, I'd say, "I wanna bring both of them." I thought I was doing this great thing, not holding one of my friends over the other. But secretly, I thought one of them was kinda annoying. And he kinda was. He whined and wouldn't go along with us sometimes. I felt pretty bad about that, so I tried to be an even better friend to make up for it. I thought if I could work even harder, I'd be able to make up for him. But actually, I wasn't helping him at all. You wouldn't have thought it, I wouldn't have thought it, but in the end he was the one that got in deep, deep trouble. I probably could have stopped it if I'd told him to cut it out and man up instead of basically doing the opposite. Some friendships you can keep up. The rest you gotta leave up to god.
[Neptune] Ugh JESUS. How long will this go on. There's no mercy in this world.
Venus: You think we're going to the cabin tonight?
Jupiter: I dunno. Probably not?
[Neptune] Good one Jupiter, but there is no mercy in this world.
Venus: It's our last week at camp and they haven't sent us there yet.
[Neptune] And that loser has it in for us so bad.
Jupiter: Maybe we won't have to go. I'm feeling optimistic this time.
Venus: ... ...Why?
[Neptune] Yeah why?
Jupiter: Uh. Because...
[Neptune] No seriously, why. Why would you ever think that.
The Bonfire Captain: Hey there GROUP WEST. Feel like meeting the devil tonight?
Jupiter: Damn ittttttttttt.
Venus: Oh no.
[Neptune] Told you. Don't worry guys. I hear hardly anyone ever dies.
7 PM
Neptune: He's just an upset puppy.
Jupiter: He'd have been less mad if you hadn't been texting the whole time he was yelling at us.
Neptune: The captain will live.
Jupiter: I thought he was gonna knock it out of your hand for a minute.
Neptune: HA. God. I wish he would've.
Jupiter: Hey Venus, you got it? Venus? VENUS.
Venus: What?
Neptune: Don't zone out, do you want to die?
Venus: Sorry... I thought I saw something. This diode shattered, can you pass me a new one?
Jupiter climbs up the pole to pass a new crystal to Venus. Neptune keeps watch, but actually she's mad because fixing the sirens is stupid and menial and there's no reason they should have to do it. Neptune refuses to participate unless we're cutting corners.
Jupiter: Here Venus.
Venus: Oh no.
Jupiter: What?
Neptune: Oh look who it is.
Group South: Hey. Hey. Hey.
Neptune: Hey.
Jupiter: Hey.
Venus: ...hey.
Group South doesn't really look the same, but we can't remember their names or tell the difference between them. Which is super mean of us. No wonder they hate our guts.
Group South: You guys got the lake sirens. We got the forest sirens. You guys got the lake sirens. You check your own sirens. You guys got the lake sirens. You should leave.
Jupiter: Uh. The Bonfire Captain told us these ones, guys.
Venus: ...yeah.
Neptune: Yeah why are you LYING to our FACES? Do we look completely STUPID?
Venus: ...yeah!
Group South: That's what he said. Venus must have heard wrong. That's what he said. He said Venus would screw it up again. That's what he said. Venus sucks and should go home immediately.
Group South does everything perfectly and is the fucking worst. The best kinds in a camp for bad kids are absolutely certain to be the fucking worst.
♀ + ♆
She goes but Group South doesn't. They just watch. We can't focus on what we're doing or enjoy it while being watched by someone expecting something who won't say what and won't leave. Venus keeps getting distracted by the lights, and Neptune is keenly aware of the pit in her stomach. There is truly nothing ruder than denying us distraction.
Neptune: Goddddddddddddd. Seriously, what do you want?
Group South: Nothing. Nothing. You're cool. Nothing. You're cool. He's the one in trouble.
Neptune: Realllllllly?
Venus: I must not be, since the captain's not here.
Group South stares at Venus. Venus ignores them. They can stick around if they want. We can pretend to fix this siren all night.
Group South: Hey Venus. Hey Venus. You're taking a while. Hey Venus. You're taking a while. Need help.
Venus: No. Captain said I could do it alone. Go away. It's distracting.
Neptune: Don't you have somewhere else to be? Isn't cap'n going to be mad if he sees you slacking off?
Group South: Nah.
Neptune: He was pretty pissed off last time, wasn't he?
Group South: Nah. We're supposed to be here.
Neptune: Everyone was laughing.
Group South: It's Venus's fault- ... Nah. We're supposed to be here. It's Venus's fault.
Neptune: Haha. God I wish. The worst thing Venus has done is not fuck up hard enough to get us all kicked out. What is your problem, trying to get him to do something right, when you could be doing something productive like fucking up and getting us all sent home!
Group South: Yeah? Ask him. Yeah. Ask him. Yeah! Ask him.
Venus: The captain doesn't like you.
Group South: Hey-
Venus: I don't know why he doesn't like you but the more you try to get on his good side the worse he'll make it for you. He doesn't need a reason. He hates it when peopel try to get on his good side.
Group South: You-
Venus: He hates it because it's like you're telling him what to do.
Group South: Fuck it. Fuck it?! ...Fuck it.
Neptune: ... Venus you have to be done by now, right? Venus. VENUS.
Venus: Oh! Yeah. I finished a while ago.
Neptune: What are you even looking at?
Venus: Oh-it's nothing, don't worry. I'll come down.
Venus climbs down from the siren, which crackles softy with the faint static of the radio again. It's louder than normal. God is already warning us.
Venus: Um.
Neptune: What.
Venus: Thanks. And um. Sorry for fucking up all the time.
Neptune: I literally don't care. They're idiots. They don't get it at all. There so obsessed with you, it's so weird.
Venus: They hate me though?
Neptune: Obviously? Is that supposed to make a difference?
Venus: Does it... not?
Neptune: Oh god. I really wish you would fuck up so bad even the captain hated you. It'd be a good look for you.
Venus: Oh... ...but I don't think I actually could? Mess up on purpose, I mean.
Neptune: It's literally as easy as doing nothing.
Venus: I know. Sometimes it feels harder to not do something than to do something? I wish I was a little more like you. You deal with this stuff so easily?
Neptune: Venus.
Venus: Yes?
Neptune: You're never allowed to think I have it better off than you. Ever. It's the worst thing you can do.
Venus: Oh. I'm sorry?
Neptune: Sometimes I kind of envy you Venus. And other times I really kind of don't.
♀ + ♃
Venus: Okay.
Group South: Stay. Where are you going? Stay. The Bonfire Captain said. Stay.
Jupiter: Come on, guys.
Neptune: Why are you all such idiots? Why do you think we're going to be as stupid as you are and believe the stupid things you are saying? Why are you unable to follow basic instructions or hear things that people say?
Group South turns around.
Group South: Hey Neptune. Hey Neptune. Hey Neptune.
Neptune: You are exactly as ugly as each other, it's scarily accurate. How long did you have to practice to coordinate that? I am truly in awe that it's possible for you all to have done this every single day for a month. I was so sure one day you were going to slip up and one of you would be accidentally identifiable but consider me defeated. As expected of our top group this year though? I thought that I was underestimating but I am so deeply ashamed of myself for doubting you for even-
Neptune dies out by the time we reach the next siren.
Jupiter: She'll be okay.
Venus: Yeah... Maybe we should go check though?
Jupiter: It's fine.
We get to the siren and we do the thing; Jupiter pushes up Venus and he climbs up to get the switch at the top.
Venus: I'm sorry.
Jupiter: It's okay.
Venus: ... I'm really sorry.
Jupiter: I know, I know.
Venus: I really don't like them.
Jupiter: They're kinda fuckers.
Venus: Ha. They're very popular though.
Jupiter: You think so? Man, I don't like them. Does anyone really like them?
Venus: No, not really. Not even the captain likes them. They like you though, don't they?
Jupiter: ...I guess. I don't know. Actually, I don't think they do. Sometimes they're a little bit funny. But I don't actually like their humor too much. This sounds weird, but I kind of hang out with them so they'll leave me alone? Maybe that doesn't make sense.
Venus: No... it kind of doesn't?
Jupiter: Haaaaahaha jeez. I kinda knew you'd say that. You know how sometimes kids bully each other because they don't know how to say they like someone?
Venus: Yeah, a little. I always thought that maybe they also had to hate you a little to do that, though?
Jupiter: Haha. See. You get it.
Venus: Ha. Aha. But I wish they'd leave me alone. Or I guess I meant more like, that sucks- -and I wish we didn't have to or- -I could talk to them and they wouldn't hate me?
Jupiter: Well if it makes you feel any better... It's really not working out for me, either.
Venus: Ahaha. It doesn't. Well, it does a little.
8 PM
Venus: ... ...um...
Neptune: It's fine.
Jupiter: It's fine.
We still can't quite believe it's a house humans are supposed to spend a night in. It has electricity, unbelievably, and also illegally, because it could likely burn it down and kill everyone.
Venus: ... ...
Jupiter: What is it?
Venus: I'm trying to think of something positive to say but, uh. I can't.
Neptune: It's a work of actual art. I'm truly impressed.
Jupiter: In all kinds of ways.
Neptune: Seriously, I'm in awe. No ordinary idiot built this cabin. An ordinary idiot would have given up long before this. It takes a truly extraordinary idiot to keep at something he has no idea how to do. I pray we never have to meet him.
Jupiter: Hmm.
Neptune: What?
Jupiter: I was just thinking... It's like, guaranteed the captain built it, right?
Neptune: If you tell a joke with a face that straight, someone impressionable like Venus is going to believe you and be terrified for the rest of their life.
Jupiter: I'm totally serious. Can't you imagine how proud the Captain would be of himself? He'd never think he was doing a single thing wrong, right? There's like half a dozen horrifying shacks here. He must have had so much fun.
Neptune: God. Hold me please. You've chilled me to the depths of my soul.
Jupiter: Hahahaha.
Jupiter snaps her hair tie against her wrist.
Venus: There's something wrong with the lock.
Jupiter: Is it broken? I don't hear any static... it really is broken.
Venus: That's so dangerous! No one would leave it unlocked like that, would they?
Jupiter: No. They wouldn't.
Neptune: They could have broken it and not told anyone. That'd just be like Group East.
Venus: I think Group South was here last?
Neptune: Or them, or anyone. They're all jerks who'd rather let the next group take the fall than fix it, so what does it matter which one it was?
Jupiter: The crystal and whisker look fine. It looks like someone tried to tape it together? But it must have come loose.
Venus: It could have already been like this... but this kind of charm doesn't break that easily, I don't think. You just need to make sure the wire is securely touching the galena.
Jupiter relaxes slightly. She is more worried about the devil than any of us, but all of us are worried. Though not that worried. Humans are much more likely to kill you than the devil is. Statistically.
♀ + ♃
Neptune: Have fun.
This shack is full of shelves and drawers, all neatly, maniacally squeezed along the four walls. It's much prettier and sturdier than the one we're staying in, but it's inhumanely small. The house seems to have been built for modestly large dolls. We have to hunch over to get in and we can't move without bumping each other. We have thought of two possibilities for how this happened. The possibility which is weird is that someone, possibly the captain, decided to make a .6 scale house on purpose, for .6 humans, or dolls, or fun, and then turned it into storage. The possibility which is scary is that someone, possibly the captain, completely finished a .6 scale shack before realizing his measurements were off in the first place.
Jupiter: If we find the tape, can you fix it?
Venus: I think so? But it's kind of worrying for it to be like that. Maybe we should call the captain?
Jupiter: We... could... do that... But let's try to get it working first.
Venus: I'm a little worried... I'm sure it'll be okay if I talk to him?
Jupiter: You'll be fine. I promise. I believe in you.
Venus: ... ...really?
Jupiter: Just search that drawer, Venus.
We root through drawers again. A little more intently.
Venus: Are you scared of him?
Jupiter: Got it!
Venus: Oh! Yay. I almost have it! It's way easier than I thought.
Jupiter: Phew.
Venus: See?
Jupiter: Nice. I'm glad. I really didn't want to have to go back to the captain.
Venus: Ha, yeah.
Jupiter: ... ...I don't know if it's really that I'm scared of him? But he does make me worry.
Venus: Oh. Um, he doesn't hate you or anything, I don't think. I mean, he's nicer to you than a lot of people.
Jupiter: ...why does everyone think that? He never got mad at me but... I don't like being liked by him. It makes me think there must be something wrong with me? I don't want to be the sort of person that he likes. It makes me shiver. He likes people he can make a little uncomfortable and won't give any trouble about it.
Venus: Like us, I guess.
Jupiter: Exactly us. We're the only people he likes, after all.
Venus: I don't think he's going to do anything terrible...
Jupiter: No, he wouldn't but... I don't know. Maybe he already did? Like how you don't have to touch someone to touch someone? You know? That sounds weird. Forget it.
♃ + ♆
Jupiter: Oh. Cool.
Neptune: I mean if you're that insistent, I don't want to look like a jerk by saying no.
Jupiter: Haha. Rad. Are you good, Venus?
Venus: Yeah, I'll unpack.
Jupiter: Holler if you need anything.
This place looks like it was a greenhouse once. But at some point it was filled with furniture, like someone tried to live here and gave up, or died because it was a fucking greenhouse. There is a bed that was probably very nice, but npw it is growing poppies, and blue mushrooms are growing out of a lampshade by the nightstand, so we suppose the shack is now a greenhouse again. Neptune searches a beautiful enormous dresser nurturing an ivy with white bell-shaped flowers, while Jupiter brushes leaves away to open the doors of a tasteful kitchen cabinet.
Jupiter: There is a new kind of lily in each shelf.
Neptune: This place is honestly the weirdest.
Jupiter: Really. Here, come look.
Neptune: Oh wow. I'm revising my opinion. Maybe the captain is a true genius.
Jupiter: Do you think he did this?
Neptune: I hope not, then I'd have to like him.
Jupiter: Ha. Oh here, you should see this one-
The wood is warped or rotting which we knew before she put her weight on it, but didn't know well enough, because the door and then half the cabinet and then the whole cabinet slough away. We pull each other out of the way. The collapse of the cabinet sounds like the wet wood yawning and screaming for a full minute.
Neptune: Are you okay?
Jupiter: Oh... yeah. I'm fine.
Neptune: Okay.
Jupiter: I'm fine, I was just... For a moment it was the funniest thing in the entire world. I mean of course, right? I just walk in here and without even trying instantly cause the biggest possible disaster to happen. It was so pretty too... ANd now it's just impossible to put back together ever. Maybe I'm a genius at getting things wrong too. Ahaha.
Neptune: It is absolutely gone forever, Jupiter.
Jupiter: I know, but I should have-
Neptune: Jupiter I promise on a stack of bibles it's not your fault and I will slap your face if you say it was. I will punch you in the face for every word you say. I am so for real.
Jupiter: ...Ha. Thank you. I wasn't really going to. I promise.
Neptune takes her hands off Jupiter's shoulders. We look around. Jupiter snaps her hairband against her wrist. But for a moment after it feels like we are holding each other. We can feel the hands, like they're right there in the air.
Neptune: Good. I mean like, aren't you doing fine? Aren't you trying harder than literally everyone else here? You're so chill about everyone's bullshit it makes me so mad and then you won't extend even the slightest of that chill to yourself and that makes me EVEN SO MADDER. Can't you just be a little less... good?
Jupiter: I promise... I promise to try, at least. Well... sort of.
Neptune: GODDDDDDDDDDD.
9 PM
Venus: If we had one more we could play euchre... is there anything fun to play with 3 people?
Neptune: No.
Venus: There's... lots of things. Maybe...?
Neptune: Let's not though.
Jupiter: I miss euchre.
Neptune: Surely there has to be something better we can do with our lives.
Jupiter: ...
Venus: ...
Neptune: I'm very upset at you both.
Jupiter: Ummmm what are the things normal kids are supposed to do in this sort of situation? Like... truth or dare, or something?
Neptune: That's a bad idea.
Venus: That's a really bad idea.
Neptune: That's a great idea.
Jupiter: I guess it's an okay idea.
Venus: Well, it's not terrible...
Neptune: Great, everyone agrees, it was a wonderful idea.
Jupiter: Neptune, you go first.
Neptune: Why?
Jupiter: Because seniority.
Venus: I'm the oldest though?
Jupiter: Then because for some other reason.
Neptune: ...fiiiiiiine.
Jupiter: So... how do you play truth or dare?
Neptune: Oh my god. Are you for real.
Venus: You alternate truth or dare, and you go around in a circle, and whoever-
Neptune: I need to save you two from yourselves. *Cough, cough*
Jupiter: Oh, that sounded fine to me...
Neptune: No. *Cough* Everyone shut up and listen to me. If I go first, LIKE YOU JUST SAID, I ask you truth or dare and then YOU pick and then I think of something horrible. Okay? I cannot believe either of you.
Jupiter: ...ohhhhhhhhhh wait then-
Neptune: It's too late, you already said I could go first. Own it.
Jupiter: Okay okay.
Venus: ...
♀ + ♆
Venus: Me? Hmm. Dare.
Neptune: ...seriously?
Venus: Yeah... is that okay?
Neptune: Your entire camp experience is defined by someone making you do something awful, and you want to pick dare?
Venus: But you won't right?
Neptune: Venus. That is the most dangerous thing you have ever said and it explains everything about why terrible stuff happens to you all of the time.
Venus: Oh.
Neptune: So. Do you want to pick something else.
Venus: Um. But truth is way worse?
Jupiter: Truth is just embarrassing, but with a dare you could get hurt, right?
Neptune: See, Jupiter gets it.
Venus: Would you pick truth too?
Neptune: Absolutely, I don't want to move or do anything and there's nothing you can think of to ask me that would be embarrassing.
Venus: Hmmm. I think I still want to pick dare though?
Neptune: ...
Venus: I mean, it's kinda like Jupiter said? Truth is embarrassing and dares could get you hurt. Getting hurt is way less scary.
Neptune: That's almost pretty clever, but what if I dared you to do something really embarrassing?
Venus: Well... oh...
Neptune: I could make you wear a skirt or run around the lake or call Group South the worst thing you could think of. These are so boring and obvious too. Think if I had some imagination, Venus. It can get so much worse. Being awful is so trivial. It's easy beyond easy.
Venus: ...should I pick truth then?
Neptune: "Tell me who you have a crush on." "What's your worst fear." "Who do you hate the most?" See? This is so easy. Get it, I can-*cough* I-*cough cough*
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: *cough* Haahhh.
Venus: It doesn't matter which I pick?
Neptune: You're still at their mercy. It's a bad game.
Venus: I'm sorry, I dunno what to-
Neptune: Ugh. You can't just apologize- Wait, I got it. I dare you to not say sorry for the rest of the night.
Jupiter: Oh my god.
Venus: I can do that!
Jupiter: ...can he though?
Neptune: No it's perfect. It'll fix something annoying, and this will make everyone's life easier, and all of us win.
Venus: Is it really annoying?
Neptune: You shouldn't have to apologize for things you don't need to apologize for.
Venus: Sorry. Whoops...
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: ...So what happens now.
Neptune: NOTHING because this game is stupid and sucks and forget it.
Venus: Sorry.
Jupiter: ...
Neptune: ...
Venus: That was... on purpose... jokes?
Jupiter: Ahahaha.
Neptune: Ha. Seriously, though, do stop.
♃ + ♆
Jupiter: Truth.
Neptune: Who do you like?
Jupiter: Um- I... You didn't hold back at all.
Neptune: There's no mercy in truth or dare, Jupiter.
Jupiter: Ha, ha well, I don't really-
Neptune: I absolutely will know if you're lying. Don't dare.
Jupiter: Okay.
Neptune: I will know.
Jupiter snaps her hair tie against her wrist.
Jupiter: Well- Then you already kno-
Neptune: Just kidding. That's a dumb question.
Jupiter: Oh. That's fine.
Neptune: It'd be so boring anyway. It's not like I can actually imagine you fawning over some dude.
Jupiter: Ahaha. What's that supposed to mean?
Neptune: You just aren't the sort of person who'd chase after someone. Like you wouldn't let them think they were worth that kind of effort if they didn't deserve it or let them think they were better than you if they weren't. And who is, anyway? No one's that cool.
Jupiter: Haha, thanks, I think that was a compliment? Though, probably no one is ever going to want to date me.
Neptune: Do you want anyone to date you?
Jupiter: ...is that your truth or dare question?
Neptune: Damn it. You're too sharp.
Jupiter: Neptune, you're the sort of person who'd wish for infinite wishes first thing just in case it worked, right?
Neptune: HEY. WHose turn is it, huh?
Jupiter: Aw. ...but I wouldn't have had an interesting answer either. I would have just said I'd only want to date someone if someone wanted to date me.
Neptune: ...you're doing it again.
Jupiter: What?
Neptune: You're-*cough* *gulp* *Cough* never mind, you win. Venus, you should pay attention, this is how you get out of playing stupid games.
Venus: Ah! Okay.
Jupiter: So whose turn is it?
Neptune: OH NO YOU DON'T. I told you that wasn't the question! You just went and answered it on your own.
Jupiter: Haha, fiiiine. You got me.
Neptune: No excuses.
Venus: Um... I guess that's fair?
Neptune: Of course it's fair. If there's no answer it doesn't count. Okay, then, here it is. Ready?
Jupiter: Totally.
Neptune: Truth-who does Venus have a crush on?
Venus: UM????
Jupiter: Hmmm. Wait, what if I get it wrong.
Neptune: Then you're in trouble.
Venus: Still??? Not fair????
Jupiter: Guess I need to get it right then! Hmmm. Oh it's totally... You.
Venus: UMMMMMMMM???
Neptune: Not. Absolutely not. Illegal.
Jupiter: Aw, why not? It's cute. He has good taste?
Neptune: Boo. No. Awful. Absolutely rejected.
Jupiter: Ahaha.
Neptune: You are not funny at all.
10 PM
Neptune: I'm... bored.
Venus: We should make the rounds... maybe?
Neptune: We should do something else.
Jupiter: We should make the rounds.
Venus: Or we could... do something else?
Jupiter: Come on. We have to. It might be nothing but if we don't check we'll get in trouble. Or die. You know.
Jupiter pulls herself up by her radio. It's long and thin and delicate, but then there's that awful weight at the end.
Jupiter: Let's all go. Bring your radios.
Venus: And leave everything else?
Jupiter: Yeah, why not? It's not like anyone's going to steal it.
Venus: What if he comes by when we're gone?
Jupiter: Mmm. That's true...
Neptune: Ugh. Who cares.
Jupiter: The captain... a lot, probably.
Neptune: Ugh.
Jupiter: I know.
Venus: But it's not good for one of us to be alone.
Neptune: That's why there shouldn't be three of us in the first place. This is such a joke.
Venus: It makes sense for two people to go out and one to stay here...
Neptune: Ugh. Yeah. Fine.
Jupiter: ... Yeah. We should do something else, actually. Truth or Dare again?
Neptune: Oh come ON. After all that? You already convinced me!
Venus: The sirens are louder tonight... I can definitely hear something-
Jupiter: No forget it, I don't want to. Let's just not. He's never gonna know. And tonight's just going to turn out to be another night where nothing happens, right? I don't want to... Let's just stay here.
Neptune: That's what I was SAYING.
Venus: What if the captain comes checks on us?
Neptune: Nah. He's going home with his girlfriend or whatever she is tonight. Irresponsible. Gross. Whatever. It's so him. He's not going to bother us and even if he did we could say we were totally just about to or we already did and how's he going to know.
Venus: Cool. Good.
Jupiter sits down and gently leans her radio against the wall. It's an easy and correct choice to make. It would have been nice to go together, but we can't. We should do the irreponsible thing and stay in the sleeping bags and piles of clothes until we're happy.
Jupiter: Ah, here come the sirens.
Venus: ...no, ow, they're so loud.
Neptune: God, why won't he shut up.
But god has spoken, on that unmistakeable frequency.
Jupiter: Two of us have to go. One has to stay.
♀ + ♆
Venus: Oh, okay...
Neptune: This is so unfair.
Jupiter: It'll be fine, they won't get me that easily. I'll broadcast from my radio, and you'll be able to hear it and come home.
Venus: It won't be hard.
Neptune: But I don't want to do it.
We leave Jupiter swinging her radio and tuning the house radio. The trails through the woods are wide and precise. Camp is supposed to be an easy adventure. The minimum expectations are low: Don't walk off the path. Keep the lights on. Don't let the devil into your heart. Anyone can do that.
Neptune: Well, I guesssss that didn't work. We were so close though... we totally could have gotten her to let us all stay.
Venus: Mmm? Oh, I know... sorry. I started trying to convince her we should stay, once I realized what you were doing. She likes being alone though, so I think she'll be okay.
Neptune: It's fine. It was silly to try. She's too responsible.
Venus: ...do you think she hates us. It's not even her fault she's at the Summer Scouts, like it's ours-
Neptune: Venus can you shut up? Please?
Venus: Oh. Sorry.
Neptune: Jupiter doesn't hate anyone. She's like an ascetic monk at not giving a shit. People stop walking over her because she's doesn't care enough for them to get a rise and that's the only reason people do that. It's so annoying. Why do you care about what she thinks?
Venus: I don't know... I think she's cool? I don't wanna be a bother.
Neptune: Ugh of course she's cool. She's just all half smile and 'ah, sorry,' and no one bugs her about anything ever. Do you not kinda hate that she's so cool?
Venus: Why? I wish I could be like that.
Neptune: Because it's fake! No one is that invincible. If it hurts you should say so! People are supposed to get hurt by things. It's fucked up to not. It's not good for you. You too Venus! Have a little more self respect.
Venus: I know that. It's not like... I'm stupid. You know. I worry about her too, you know? Don't you want to at least make stuff a little easier for her?
Neptune: No. I want to make it worse. I want to make it so bad she has to say it. I want to hear it out loud. She shouldn't keep living like she's never going to get it off the tip of her tongue. ...
Venus: I... don't think she's ever going to. I really do. Wish I was like her a little. But still- I'm a little glad I'm not her. I wonder if maybe she wishes sometimes she wasn't her either.
Neptune: Maybe. A lot I bet. Maybe all the time.
Venus: Do you ever feel like that?
Neptune: Do I ever what?
Venus: ...sorry, I...
Neptune: What, do you?
Venus: I- I do, yeah.
Neptune: ... ... Let's head back. Sometimes... I do too. It's normal. Let's just get over it.
♃ + ♆
Jupiter: Are you sure?
Neptune: Yeah, are you really sure?
Venus: Staying in one place is pretty hard but I think I'll manage.
Jupiter: ...what?
Neptune: ...oh wait it's a JOKE.
Venus: Um well, now I feel a little bit less confident but- I know we can't light candles or burn incense without the house catching fire bit I can wrap my radio around the door. And there's no other way in.
Jupiter: Okay, if you're sure.
Neptune: Then let's go. We're not even going to catch the devil anyway so let's just get it over with.
We leave Venus wrapping his radio around the doorknob. He's good at knots, and he's good at switch boxes, and if he's good at anything else, he's never shown us. The woods are noisy with insects and frogs; nothing ever shuts up around here. Nature doesn't care about humans or the devil. But we sometimes think they'd take his side over ours if they got the choice. The world probably resent being nothing more than god's gift to us.
Neptune: Venus is probably fine.
Jupiter: Nah. He's totally going to die.
Neptune: ...both of you sure have the element of surprise when it comes to telling jokes.
Jupiter: Ahaha. ...
Neptune: Are you seriously worried about him?
Jupiter: Maybe. A little. He's weird. Not in a bad way, necessarily? But maybe in a bad way, possibly. Sometimes I don't even know what he is. Do you think he notices how much of a jerk he is sometimes?
Neptune: I wish. He'll be so great if he leans into it on purpose. He'll be just a bitch if he stays like this. No boy is innocent. Or whatever he is.
Jupiter: Well we're all stuck together whatever we are. For the rest of the week.
Neptune: We could just go now. We could run away right now and never come back and never have to know what happened here. The highway isn't even a mile away. ...just kidding. I know you'd never go for that.
Jupiter: ...you say 'just kidding' after a lot of... pretty huge things. Would you go for it?
Neptune: No, it's stupid. Summer scouts is almost over anyway. Some things you just bear with and then it's over.
Jupiter: Haha, that is really thoughtful. You don't bear anything quietly though.
Neptune: No why the HELL should I, this place is ruining my entire summer and no one else deserves to forget it.
Jupiter: God, yeah. This place... really is the worst. I'm glad you don't give me a chance to say yes to any of your bad ideas, haha.
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: My eyes feel so weird. My skin feels weird. I hate these bugs and this everything. Nothing could be grosser. Thanks. I'm fine.
Jupiter: Neptune, we- Ah. Nevermind. Yeah. Let's go back.
♀ + ♃
Venus: Are you sure?
Neptune: Going out right now sounds like the fucking worst, are you kidding? I'll mark the outside of the house with my radio. And no one who's not us will be able to get in.
Jupiter: Okay, if you're sure.
Neptune: I know you'll miss me, but you'll be fine without me, I promise. The woods are gross. Bye.
We leave Neptune making marks on the outside of the house, precisely, with her radio. She's good at everything but no one but us believes it. And that's just how she likes it. Under the buzz of the insects, the woods are full of the low static of sleeping sirens. They hate him, but the devil flocks to them,like a moth to the flame.
Venus: I hope she's okay.
Jupiter: I'm sure she's fine. Are you really worried?
Venus: A little. Why?
Jupiter: Isn't she mean to you?
Venus: A little. Isn't she mean to you?
Jupiter: A little.
Venus: My mom says that anyone who's mean has been hurt. Which is everyone, so I guess it's kind of a stupid thing to say. My mom is weird like that.
Jupiter: Haha, my mom would never say something like that. She'd say, "no one will respect you if you don't have any manners" or "choose your words for others carefully even if they don't do the same for you."
Venus: That's good advice. Kind of. Right?
Jupiter: She doesn't believe thinking things out is something you can teach. To her you get it or you don't. And until then you should just shut up and do the right thing instead of looking like an idiot. I'm too slow for her, like my dad. It must be nice to be smart and get things quickly.
Venus: It must be such a good feeling. To get things right, and not have to screw up. Not just pretending you understand.
Jupiter: You get diodes pretty well?
Venus: But Neptune knows what everyone means right away. I can't tell when anyone is lying so I just. Believe everything on purpose I guess? When I was fixing the radio in the dining hall, Group South told me a rusty nail would work just as well as galena, and I went along with it... Even though it definitely doesn't work as well, and cuts the range down too far. They wanted me to screw up, like, I know that? But if I pointed it out, they'd just get madder. And say whatever, and not stop until I said they were right, and believed it too, so I just believed them anyway. I got in so much trouble! I don't know why it felt so much easier. I could have explained it. But when I thought about how much trouble I'd get in...
Jupiter: It's way easier. I do it all the time.
Venus: Really?
Jupiter: I don't know how to not.
Venus: ... Maybe Neptune really knows best.
11 PM
Venus: I'm still a little worried.
Jupiter: It's always like this, the devil always shows up when you least expect it.
Neptune: You two are unbearable. All we literally have to do is chill. You can do that, right? Riiiiiiiiiiight?
Jupiter: Um. I can try?
Venus: Well...... not... really...
Neptune: God. I should have known. You are both impossible. I'm so glad I brought this.
Venus: ...!
Jupiter: Oh my god.
The bottle is half drunk and sticky and smells of paint thinner, sugar, and artifical flavoring, and that is exactly what it is along with some additives that will shave years off our lives.
Neptune: No need to praise me too much. You can thank me by drinking this until you're no longer anxious and annoying.
Venus: That's! I'm! Illegal!
Neptune: That is fine because either way I'm gonna drink it until I don't care how anxious and annoying either of you are.
Jupiter: How did you even get that?
Neptune: I traded this fine bottle of Pernicious Rogue for $20 bucks and my three ugliest shades of nailpolish. Aren't I generous?
Venus: I haven't ever had alcohol before.
Jupiter: Oh god it hurts just to smell. Are you sure this is something people can drink?
Neptune: IMPOSSIBLE, the both of you. I swear to god. Sorry it's not an Italian red my darling princesses, I also don't have martini glasses or umbrellas either, but I promise you: adults are lying assholes about alcohol and all this shit is samely awful. What you should be saying is Neptune, thank you SO much for getting some with the chaser already in it! You perfect darling~. You're saving us the embarrassment of throwing up after our first shot and you ask for nothing in return but us to shut the fuck up. You're an angel who doesn't deserve any of this.
Venus: U-um sorry thank you.
Jupiter: "Neptune, thank you SO much for-"
Neptune: Don't get smart with me. I only have two shot glasses, so who's going with me.
♀ + ♆
Venus: Me? Ummmmm no I really shouldn't thank you for offering but I am-
Neptune: Venus. You are drinking with us.
Venus: B-But we'll get in trouble and it's not allowed and it's illegal-
Neptune: I think you are having a problem understanding the situation here, Venus. Just by being in the same room with this bottle, you are already an accomplice. You will be held just as responsible if we're found out. They won't care at all if you didn't drink. You're already guilty, sweetie.
Venus: Ah... ummmmm...
Neptune: So how about you just give in and drink.
Venus: Well... I...
Neptune: Besides, Jupiter thinks thisis going to kill us so please prove it won't. This is an important service you are doing.
Venus: Um. No promises... that I will live...
Neptune: I won't let you if you don't. Cheers.
Venus: Owwwwwww. This is baddddddddddddd.
Neptune: Ugh. Come. On. Can't you. At Least. Eugh. Put on a good face. BluGH.
Jupiter: Thanks everyone, all by doubts are cleared.
Venus: I feel like my stomach is trying to punch me in the face.
Neptune: Be tougher please.
Venus: NO! I REFUSE utterly.
Neptune: HAHA WHAT are you drunk.
Venus: Lies.
Neptune: Venus you are absolutely tee-totally drunk. This is historic.
Venus: I'm not at ALL. I'll take another shot and prove it. Somehow.
Neptune: You are completely on.
Venus: GOD it's actually worse.
Neptune: I feel nothing. I'm a wall. *cough cough cough*
Venus: How does anyone live long enough to get used to THIS. It's CRAZY????
Neptune: I can't believe you at all, you were so scandalized a minute ago, and yet, you are literally the drunkest person in the whole universe right now.
Venus: You're a jerk Neptune! YOU know what your problem is?????
Neptune: HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME? Oh PLEASE do Venus, I'm SO ready.
Venus: Your problem is that you hate yourself!!!
Neptune: HAHA duh Venus, everyone feels like that, you're going to have to do WAY BETTER.
Venus: No true uhhhhhh... it was something about how... like you treat hating yourself like a competition... I totally had it.
Neptune: Sure you did hun. Drink up. Jesus. This is awful.
Venus: I think I'm warming up to it? HAHA I'M LYING, it feels like death. But like, nice and sugary. I don't care about anything and it's so great!
Neptune: You know what YOUR problem is? It's that you *cough* That you *cough cough* You *cough cough cough* oh god Help *cough* I can't *cough*
Venus: Oh no, oh no no, what-
Neptune: *cough* Bath *cough* room I'm gonna throw-
Venus: I got you I promise! Jupiter come help-
Neptune: NO just help me-
Venus: Okay okay!
Neptune: This is so awfl help me why won't it stop.
Venus: It'll be okay, I don't think we drank that much.
Neptune: It's not the- Oh god. Hurk-
Venus: Oh no.
Neptune: Go away Venus GO AWAY.
Venus: No you have to- Oh... Neptune... what...?
Neptune: I said... go away.
Venus: Neptune... what's going on?
Neptune: I said it's fine.
Venus: It's a lot... it's a lot worse than you said...
Neptune: It's still fine. I promise. I swear. Venus I promise I am not lying about this one. I promise.It'll be better tomorrow. Okay? We just have to get through it. Please. Just... don't tell Jupiter.
Venus: Okay. I won't tell her.
Neptune: Thank you. I'm sorry.
Venus: It's okay.
Neptune: ... Venus, your problem is that you are very nice. But you want something. And you think being nice is going to give it to you. But it never will. And until you figure out what it is you want. Every kindness of yours will be full of that want. Like mine is.
Venus: ... ... ...your problem Neptune is You think being mean is more honest. But you're just as bad as Jupiter. And me.
Neptune: ... We are bad kids, aren't we.
Venus: I hope no one finds out.
Neptune: Me neither.
♃ + ♆
Jupiter: Uhhhhhhh.
Neptune: PLEASE don't tell me you're not.
Jupiter: I... guesssss.
Neptune: Peer pressure. You're not cool if you don't drink.
Jupiter: Oh no. I am falling for this.
Neptune: Look at me, I'm an after school special, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd. Who knows what will happen.
Jupiter: Okay okay.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Cheers?
Neptune: Ahaha, your face right now! It's not- ugh.
Jupiter: It's just so... sweet. It'd be easier straight.
Neptune: Wait, this isn't your first time drinking?
Jupiter: My dad sometimes gives me a little. And my mom too, on Sundays. They're really strict though. They want me to like, appreciate it and not do exactly what we're doing and drink horrible shit for the sake of getting drunk.
Neptune: Well it's too late now. You're corrupted forever and the only choice is to drink until you are drunk and hungover so you can learn an important lesson about life and peer pressure and whatever.
Jupiter: Haha okay. I will drink to that.
Neptune: BOTTOMS UP BITCH.
Jupiter: Ugh. Yep. Still bad.
Neptune: ErGGhhh. How do youuu stand ittttttttt. You're barely making a face it's infuriating ANOTHER PLEASE.
Jupiter: I can't stand it it's awful. It's unimaginable. Please show me mercy.
Neptune: Another.
Jupiter: Are you... sure?
Venus: Um. I'm just gonna read.
Neptune: FUCK YOU TAKE THIS SHOT.
Venus: Aaaaaaa UgGHHHHHH.
Neptune: BLUGH I hate this.
Jupiter: What is this flavor. Fruit punch. Or is it green apple? Maybe watermelon...
Neptune: I can't believe you're not even TIPSY. Your father is incredible. Is he Vin Diesel. Is he Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is he Ernest Hemingway. Are you the love child of Vin Diesel and Ernest Hemingway.
Jupiter: Well he doesn't care for women or long sentences, if that counts.
Neptune: HA that's fucking funny! So you HAVE read a book.
Jupiter: I mean, it's not 'cause he's mean or anything he just doesn't LIKE women.
Neptune: Oh. OH. Wait why would HE send you here?
Jupiter: Sometimes we just do stuff so mom will chill.
Neptune: Haha your dad is COOL.
Jupiter: Yeah haha. He really is.
Neptune: ANOTHER?
Jupiter: OKAY. My dad said that humans may have made alcohol, but the devil gave them the idea.
Neptune: Your dad has never been more right about anything.
Jupiter: The worse it tastes, the more evil it makes you. And every kind has its own sort of evil in it. I think... alcohol is incredible like that.
Neptune: It's all the same.
Jupiter: No, no, no! It's so different. It's SO different. Like red wine makes you lascivious but also kind of weepy. And beer makes you lazy but prepared to yell.
Neptune: Oh yeah? Then what does this make you feel?
Jupiter: Hmmmmmm... I feel like I want to break a window?
Venus: Ummmmmm.
Neptune: YOU'RE RIGHT, FUCK. I'M GOING TO THROW UP ON EVERYONE.
Jupiter: Ahaha you are not sober.
Neptune: Neither are YOU miss, it's written all over your smug lazy face, I can TELL, HA, HA, Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Jupiter: Noooooo it's truuuuuuue. This is a tragedy. How will my reputation as #1 untouchable tomboy prude ever recover.
Neptune: God don't complain, I got MOST touchable and it's not even true I'm not half as bad as those sluts in Group Southeast. Leave me ALONE please. People think you're cool, you know.
Jupiter: They are wronggggggg and also jerks. Camp will be over seen anyway.
Neptune: Assholesssssss fuck em. FUCK EM JUPITER.
Jupiter: Hahaha YEAH. Let's do ANOTHER.
Neptune: Ahaha fine- Ugh...
Jupiter: Ahahah you shouldn't drink so fast.
Neptune: Ugh... no. It's not... that.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Neptune: Ah god I itch. *Cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...?
Neptune: It's Okay I I... stop... damn it... not ...here.
Jupiter: Come let's go to the bathroom, don't throw up here-
Neptune: I'M FINE. DON'T. *cough cough cough*
Jupiter: Neptune...!
Neptune: Don't look.
Jupiter: Are... you...
Neptune: I'm fine. I'm fine. Seriously, I'm fine.
Jupiter: ...are you sure?
Neptune: Yeah I'm fine. I just felt a little sick. I can do... ONE more.
Jupiter: One more.
Neptune: DISGUSTING FOREVER.
12 AM
Neptune: Fuck off please we're finishing this god damn bottle and nothing will stop me.
Jupiter: Am I drunk? Am I still drunk? This is hard. I don't get it.
Venus: How are you supposed to tell?
Neptune: This bottle is almost empty and you two are babies and that is a100% objective measurement. We are. That thing.
Venus: Drunk!
Neptune: Excellent work, ten points to Hufflepuff.
Venus: Wait stop immediately and say that again.
Neptune: Uhhhhh I mean... Venus is drunk and also hearing things.
Venus: I totally wanted Hufflepuff but the quiz put me in Slytherin.
Neptune: Are you serious. Same.
Venus: Oh my god really? But wait I see it. You're just like what's her name... you know.. Nymphomania something? The one with the Cool Hair and Intense Expression and the Kind of Gay.
Neptune: Exactly, wait-
Jupiter: It was Nymphadora.
Neptune: Oh my god she hates that she goes by her LAST NAME and how the hell are you STILL sober enough to be able to pronounce and remember it?
Jupiter: I'm not drunk.
Neptune: Ha. Ahaha. Venus. Come here.
Venus: O-okay.
Neptune: *whisper*
Venus: I don't know-
Neptune: Do it.
Venus: Okay. Um. Sorry, Jupiter, but Venus says I'm supposed to hold you down until you drink-
Jupiter: I'll drink it.
Neptune: What boo ruined you both are no fun.
Jupiter: Gagh.
Venus: Oh my god.
Neptune: Are you drunk. Is it finally possible.
Jupiter: Ugh. I neeeeeeeeed a seconddddddd.
Neptune: We did it Venus. Thank you for your support.
Venus: That's the power of teamwork and good finding.
Neptune: 10 billion points to us.
Jupiter: Good job you win you two, what are we playing next.
Neptune: What ARE we playing next.
Venus: What a good question!
Jupiter: We already did truth or dare I guess but there's probably something more awful and worse right?
Venus: Oh like seven minutes in heaven?
Neptune: Oh my god perfect. That is the worst, dumbest idea. Yes.
Venus: N-no wait that's not-
Jupiter: I will win.
Venus: You can't win it though-
Neptune: Ahahaha god LET'S.
Venus: B-bravery is for that other house...
Jupiter: I declare it my turn.
♀ + ♃
Jupiter: Yep.
Venus: Um. Why?
Jupiter: Because that's the game.
Venus: I thought you were going to say Neptune, so I-
Jupiter: What about Neptune? Why not you. You're safe. You're like a puppy. You're harmless.
Venus: ...did you lose your nerve?
Jupiter: Except when you talk.
Venus: Sorry, I just thought-
Jupiter: You're so fluffy, wow. What do you do to your hair.
Venus: Basically... nothing?
Jupiter: We're friends too, aren't we? It's not weird.
Venus: We're friends?
Jupiter: See what I mean about 'except when you talk.'
Venus: Oh. Sorry. People call any group of kids friends even if they were just forced to spend time with each other and actually kind of hate each other though?
Jupiter: Jesus, Venus. I don't know what to do with you.
Venus: I know. That's why I play dumb most of the time. Like about you and Neptune. But I don't want to get in the way.
Jupiter: ...if you were that worried about me and Neptune, that's actually. A pretty cool friend thing to do. Haha, does that make you my wingman?
Venus: ...
Jupiter: Haha, I am kidding. That is all jokes. You sure are not like other boys.
Venus: Ha. Thank you. It would be a lot easier if I was though.
Jupiter: ..."thank you?" Aha, I finally found a compliment you like. I envy boys a little sometimes too. Isn't that the good thing about them, that they're easier? A more straightforward sort of evil. Boys hate you to your face at least. At least you know how they feel about you.
Venus: ...people say that a lot.
Jupiter: Is it true?
Venus: ...maybe this sounds weird, but... But actually, I don't think the boys are any different? I spend a lot fo time with boys, you know? And they're mad to your face sure, but they're always, always... ...mad about something else too, you know? I don't know how to describe it. They hide what they're mad about by getting mad about something else. And they don't even know it. Like the captain.
Jupiter: What's the captain really mad about, you think?
Venus: I don't know. I thought it must just be being here, like us? But I think that's not everything.
Jupiter: What do you think I'm mad about?
Venus: You're not mad.
Jupiter: What am I then?
Venus: I don't know...
Jupiter: You're lying.
Venus: I thought you said you were getting annoyed because I kept talking about it?
Jupiter: Ahaha. That's so right. What about you, then?
Venus: I'm mad about a lot of things I guess.
Jupiter: Liar. You're not mad. You're jealous. Why are you so jealous. It's flattering. But it's weird.
Venus: I don't know.
Jupiter: We're so mean though. We're mean to YOU.
Venus: You aren't at all. And Neptune isn't...
Jupiter: I wish I could be meaner. I wish I could be so much meaner.
Venus: When you are mean though, it doesn't feel mean. Like you said, we're friends, right?
Jupiter: Yeah. You know, you could be a LITTLE mean, and we wouldn't care.
Venus: I don't want to, though.
Jupiter: Sometimes you're still mean, without meaning to be.
Venus: I know. I hate it. I'd rather get made fun of than be mean.
Jupiter: Hmm. You shouldn't say things like that.
Venus: Why not? I don't want to. I just don't. I know I'm bad at getting anyone to like me and I'm weird and everyone else can deal even though I can't, but I can't. I'm just going to be like this. I'm not going to be any different.
Jupiter: You're asking to get beat up.
Venus: I don't care.
Jupiter: But for real.
Venus: I said I'm fine.
Jupiter: You're frustrating.
Jupiter snaps her hairband. Venus feels something tighten around his neck.
Venus: You-haaH?
Jupiter: Venus? Venus?!
Venus: Ahh-
Jupiter: I've got you, I'm- What is this? What? Whose... hands-?
Venus: *gasp* Haaah. Haaah. Haaah. I'm okay...
Jupiter: Oh. Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Venus: It's okay. I'm fine. It's okay. I promise.
Jupiter: It's not. It's not okay.
♃ + ♆
Neptune: Wow how dare you confuse me with a broom.
Jupiter: Oh no.
Neptune: Just kidding. I'm here.
Jupiter: Oh. I see. Or, I feel, I guess. I can't see.
Neptune: ...we are close.
Jupiter: ...yeah. So... ...um, Neptune-
Neptune: Shh.
Jupiter: No, I-
Neptune: Here- Ah. Oh.
Jupiter: Wow. I- It's not real if we don't say it out loud, right?
Neptune: That's right. No one can prove it.
Jupiter: No one except us.
Neptune: It's your word against mine. A double lock. So it never happened unless we both say it did.
Jupiter: Neither of us is going to be that stupid, right?
Neptune: Of course. We both know better.
Jupiter: I'm, um, kind of an idiot though.
Neptune: You liar. You're much better at keeping yourself quiet. I never would have if I knew you might be stupider than even me.
Jupiter: Sorry. I'm just so-
Neptune: Some things can't be taken back. There are things worse than saying it directly, you know.
Jupiter: Like "this feels right." And "I'm just so happy."
Neptune: Exactly, what are you thinking saying things like that.
Jupiter: I'm not. I'm not saying them. They're things anyone could have said about anybody. They're just in the air. "You mean so much to me." Anyone could have said that, about anyone. Not that I'm saying it.
Neptune: ...you get it. The midwest is great. All you have to do is not say it out loud. It's like a spell. And you can be as obvious as you want about everything else. You can wait it out forever. As long as you don't say it.
Jupiter: I hope I can. But even if I don't say it, I still feel it. Like a hand in the air. Holding tight.
Neptune: It's okay.
Jupiter: Is it?
Neptune: I said it's okay, so it's okay. Stop talking. Stop talking forever. I'm drunk. You're drunk. Can't see anything, double lock, nothing is happening. Your hands, either way... Are nice.
Jupiter: You're right. This is nothing.
Neptune: Ah.
Jupiter: And so is this.
Neptune: Oh.
Jupiter: This too.
Neptune: You get it. Oh. Exactly. Just... nothing. Like that hand in the air, you might think you're feeling it, but...
Jupiter: ...it's nothing.
Neptune: It's nothing.
1 AM
Jupiter: Does it sound worse to you?
Neptune: You're imagining-
The room fulls up with static from our radios, and there's another sound mixed in with the static but none of us can tell what it is, whether it's music, or talking, or some sort of sound in between.
Venus: The house radio...
Jupiter: Is it the Captain? Or Group South?
Venus: Is it god?
Neptune: It's not the devil, why aren't the sirens going off? What's wrong with it?
Jupiter: I can't tell.
Venus: I think the signal is too weak...
Jupiter: Let's boost it.
Venus wraps his radio around the house radio, and Neptune plunges hers into the wood. Jupiter lights the coil of incense nestled in the middle of her speaker. It turns red, for a moment.
Venus: I don't think anyone's signaling.
Jupiter: West, Group West. This is Group West. Who's calling me?
Venus: Even the devil can use radio, you know...
Neptune: The devil 'could' do 'whatever' and if you worry about every little thing that's just another way he can get you. Don't you read Lewis?
Venus: We're the only ones out here. There's no one else to come after.
Jupiter: I don't hear anyone. What should we do?
Venus: We could... We could ask god?
Neptune: Ugh.
Jupiter: That sounds kinda...
Venus: No, I promise, it's easy-we just need some extra wire, I just have to open up the radio box, and-
Neptune: Okay, as long as you do all the work I am fine with it.
Jupiter: Someone should go get wire. Venus can stay here and tinker and one of us should spot for him.
Neptune: Ugh, I don't want to go back the shacks.
Jupiter: Rock, paper, scissors?
Neptune: Suuuuure.
♀ + ♆
Neptune: Do the same pkease. As loud as possible.
Jupiter: Aaaarghhhhhhhhhh. Like that?
Neptune: The worst. Try harder or I won't save you next time.
Jupiter: Haha. See you guys later.
Neptune: She's okay I guess.
Venus: Does that mean you like her?
Neptune: Just work on the radio.
Venus: Oh. Um. Is that a no?
Neptune: Are you trolling me on literal purpose.
Venus: ...a little.
Neptune: Wow Venus I'm ALMOST impressed. You are, deep down, kind of a little shit.
Venus: I didn't mean it in a mean way. I wasn't teasing.
Neptune: That's so much worse, Venus.
Venus: I guess I just don't get it? I don't like being mean and I don't want to be mean so I try really hard not to be mean. I don't get any of the 'just kidding' because it's not just kidding. It's just mean. Does it really not bother you when everyone is mean to you?
Neptune: No. I couldn't care less. They are all just simply bad at it. What are they going to make fun of me for?
Venus: ...
Neptune: I DARE you to answer that question.
Venus: N-no I wasn't gonna say anything!
Neptune: Seriously, you totally can though. I'm an evil bad slut right? I'm a bitch and a flirt. I'm a bitch because I let people know when they walk over me. I'm a flirt because buys keep talking at me. And this is somehow my problem, because they can't get over themselves and leave me alone? How is that fair? Why should I get hurt by that? It makes me so mad! Why would I be anything but MAD about all this stupid obnoxious BULLSHIT.
Venus: Oh.
Neptune: Get it?
Venus: Yeah. I think so. I feel like I shouldn't get mad though. Like, you're supposed to turn the other cheek.
Neptune: Ever think people who love to say that just love slapping people?
Venus: Yeah...
Neptune: ...but you don't have to be like that, you know. You're the only boy here I can stand. So I guess, keep doing whatever it is that lets you stay that way.
Venus: Thanks. You too.
♀ + ♃
Venus: This is kind of stupid.
Jupiter: It'll be fine. Anyway, you suggested it.
Venus: Yeah but... Wht won't the others just come help?
Jupiter: Because we can do it? I guess?
Venus: I hate... I hate being treated like this.
Jupiter: Like what?
Venus: Like a scapegoat.
Jupiter: I mean... that's not it.
Venus: But it totally is. If we were in the normal scouts, they'd rush to help us. They act like real teams and take care of each other and get crystodyne diodes and transformation sequences.
Jupiter: We can get them too. We just have to get through this.
Venus: Right, "try hard."
Jupiter: It doesn't hurt to try... I know it's no guarantee...
Venus: Not everyone in the normal scouts tried all that hard, you know.
Jupiter: Most of them did. Harder than I could.
Venus: Do you think everyone in the normal scouts tried harder than you ever have.
Jupiter: Well...
Venus: If that's true, that it's true. But if even one person who didn't try as hard as you got more than you, you have to say it isn't fair.
Jupiter: ...you sure won't budge on this, will you?
Venus: Doesn't it feel unfair?
Jupiter: It's just reality.
Venus: It's reality on purpose. Reality that's someone's fault.
Jupiter: You can still get better at this, if you try, you know? It's not fair, but it's not the end.
Venus: So?
Jupiter: So...
Venus: When someone rigs it from the start, and then says "try your best!" doesn't that make you mad? Doesn't that make you so inconsolably mad you never want to try it at all?
Jupiter: ...You're hard to figure out sometimes, Venus. Sometimes even more than Neptune is.
Venus: Really?
Jupiter: Maybe I just don't get it... If you put in the minimum you'll be fine. Right? That's what I do.
Venus: Does it work?
Jupiter: Yeah. Well, mostly. Well, better than nothing.
Venus: ...I don't know what's wrong with me. But I can't. Not when it comes to this.
Jupiter: What is "this"?
Venus: Whatever they want out of me that's not fixing radios. To be tougher? To grow up. To-what's that?
Jupiter: Hey, what's wrong?
Venus: Can you see that?
Jupiter: See what?
Venus: There. Right there.
Jupiter: I don't-
Venus: It's so bright.
Jupiter: Venus hey, stop.
Venus: It's close, I just want to see-
Jupiter: There's nothing there.
Venus: But...
Jupiter: Venus. I'm telling you, I don't see it.
Venus: ... ...okay.
♀ + ♃ + ♆
2 AM
Jupiter: Well, shall we tune in on god?
Neptune: Whatever.
Venus: We could also try calling the captain again...
Jupiter: Hmm, yeah, we could-
Neptune: Just stop. I said I didn't care. Just go ahead. Calling will absolutely make everything worse, it always does. If there was any chance the devil wouldn't come, god will ruin it. But who cares. Of course the devil is coming tonight. So do it.
We arrange our radios in a circle. We all hold on to a length of the copper wire. We feel like we're part of a christmas display. We pray.
Neptune: We don't really need to pray to it.
Venus: Sorry. I'm just so used to it. I start hearing it in my head, as soon as we start, every time.
Jupiter: Right? It just pops in my head.
Neptune: *sigh* Same, it's fine. I'm just saying.
We hold hands. We're looking for the signal. We can tell the difference between god and the devil; finding god is pretty easy. He's 109.8 FM. The devil is never on the same frequency, but you sometimes hear a bit of him by accident when you're changing channels. By the time we find god he's already talking. He never says "for those just listening." He expects attentiveness.
♃ + ♆
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -of the vanity to be seen and to see. The human eye sees clearly by the light of god, but the devil by his own light, and thus sees only his own truth. The meaning of the parable-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. The fireflies are out tonight. So many we're afraid. We feel a little like we wish we could get away. Just for a little while. To some place that's not this shack. If the devil wasn't here then...something. There is something that could happen. The only thing in the world we want to do.
Neptune: We need to go.
Venus: It's too late. The devil's here. Just like on the radio.
Jupiter: This place is awful, it's just making everything worse. We should get out of here. We need to get out of here.
Venus: The captain won't let us...
Neptune: Screw him. Why do we have to deal with this. Why is this our problem! It's stupid. This is on purpose. There's no reason to come out to these supid woods. I can't believe I came here like we actually deserved it! What did they think was going to happen?
Jupiter: Neptune... It's-it will be okay. Okay? I think.
Neptune: Thanks.
Jupiter: Haha. I tried! Sort of...
Neptune: Ah. Ahahaha. No, I actually-
Venus: What was that?
Out the window, where Venus is pointing, there is a light like a flashlight. But it is not a flashlight.
Venus: What is it.
Jupiter goes to the window to see. And this time it's true. We can see it too. We know we should stay. We should just get it over with here, where it's easiest. It'll be better for him, too. But...
Jupiter: ...we should go.
Neptune: Seriously. God. Yes.
Venus: We shouldn't, I mean, isn't one of us supposed to stay here?
There's a light inside now. It doesn't do anything. It just wanders. It passes over Neptune and she shivers.
Neptune: Screw this. No waiting.
Jupiter: Now.
And we run. First it's left, then it's right, then it's both behind and ahead of us. It's like running from every firefly, it's like running froms streetlights, it's like running from the sun. And they want him so bad.
Jupiter: Come on, we're almost there. You're okay right? Right?
Venus: ...y-yeah.
Neptune: They hate streetlights, we should have run for the road!
Jupiter: I know.
Neptune: I'm not mad, okay! But I was fucking So if we die, you're not allowed to be mad??!
Jupiter: Ahah. That's fair.
Jupiter trips. It's 100% her fault. She's not even upset. She holds Venus under her as she hits the dirt.
Jupiter: Are you okay?
Venus: Yeah.
Jupiter leaps up and pulls Venus and crashes directly into the ground again. Her foot hurts so bad she almost screams.
Neptune: No, no, no, nononono. You're okay, aren't you? Please don't be doing this stupid thing that is not happening and not real.
Jupiter: S-sorry. Ohhhh god. Fuck. It's super bad.
Neptune holds Jupiter's hand so tight.
Jupiter: It's probably... going to be fine.
Neptune: Fuck you.
Venus stands up. The lights flicker.
Venus: Why. Why are you protecting me. Why won't you let me... Why can't you just let it have me. Why won't you go on without me. Why won't you? I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be that sort of person at all. The lights in the edge of my eyes. I want to see them so much. They're so horrible, I can't look away. I want them within and without me. All through and about me. I want feathers in my lungs and eyes on my skin. I want my heart to see and my lungs to fly. I want to undo the division of day and night. I want to cast light over the city and shine shadows where the streetlights used to be. You're gonna to say I shouldn't give up, and there's hope, and we can all get through this...
Jupiter: Please... don't.
Venus: And that's not a lie but...
Neptune: Venus, no, get a grip. Stop. I prmoise, I won't-
Venus: It's nobody's fault but mine.
Jupiter holds Neptune. For a second it look slike the light is lifting him up, like he's going up like Jeremiah. It's exactly what we imagined. We're so glad we're together now. But it still feels wrong. Stop for a second, and let us figure it out. But we don't deserve to get out with no regrets. We are ready, and we can see the way out, is right there, right through there.
4 AM
Venus is a suffocation of air and light, a midwest summer sun so punishing it feels like a dream. A summer that never ends is hell. Nothing could be worse than being hot and stick and surrounded by people who aguely hate you forever. A wet timeless nightmare of cloudy light. Venus reaches out to us. She has eyes to fly with and wings to see. As terrible as an angel, be afraid. That wing to see the truth and that eye to lay it bare. We feel the heat on our skin and recoil. It wants something from us, a lot of things, maybe everything. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it must miss us. It keeps begging to be let back, to let it in. And Venus did. Every wish of the eyees belongs to it. Nothing can escape this light. But we do. We can't feel the beat of the wings or the light of the eyes. We can't be seen. We chose to cover our faces. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for love, for "please see me." But there is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Neptune brings the water. Her radio cackles and bubbles and foams at its sharpest edge. Jupiter brings the storm. Her radio blares and shrieks and the weight of it shudders. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
We're on the second highest branch, so we can see everyone, but no one can see us. Everyone else is climbing around the sirens, checking if we can get them any louder in the daylight.
Jupiter: Good job, kiddo.
Venus hangs from the highest branch he can. Steam peels off him. Nothing we can do about that but let it blow into the wind. A little bit of the devil always gets away. Neptune crushes a leaf in her fingers. Jupiter holds her other hand. Like we need to.
Neptune: How much longer do we have?
Jupiter: Until it's all gone, probably.
Neptune: All day?
Jupiter: If we're lucky.
Neptune: Good.
Neptune checks her phone. But it's out of batteries.
Neptune: I'm so tired.
Jupiter: Me too.
Neptune: Don't be tired. If I fall asleep, who's going to stop me from falling?
Jupiter: I don't know. I guess we're both going to die.
Neptune: Haha.
Jupiter: ...I promise I won't actually, though.
Neptune: Good.
Jupiter: Otherwise I'll die, right?
Neptune: Right. Is your leg okay?
Jupiter: Yeah. So don't let me fall either.
Neptune: Ha. Okay. So say if Venus falls, I'll catch him, and then you'll catch me?
Jupiter: I'll totally try. But I think we'll definitely all die if that happens.
Neptune: In that case, you shouldn't then.
Jupiter: I shouldn't. But I probably totally would. Wouldn't I be so cool? Like a real hero.
Neptune: Ahahaha. You totally would. It'd be funny. ...not sweet at all.
We lean on each other. And we wait.
♀ + ♃
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -and extract the resulting ink. Place in a vial and explain it to the worthlessness of the treasures of the earth. Break it against a mirror, the cause of vanity-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. Sometimes it's okay to be quiet. It is nice to know we don't have to talk sometimes. But Neptune can't wait. She's coughing and running down the battery of her phone. She looks worried. Or maybe just itchy.
Jupiter: Neptune.
Neptune: Yeah?
Venus: Umm... are you okay...?
Neptune: Yes.
Venus: Ah. S-sorry.
Neptune: *cough*
Venus: Are you okay?
Neptune: I said-*cough*-God. I'm fine.
Jupiter: You're totally not.
Neptune: Ugh. You're making it worse. I need to throw up.
Venus: Again?
Neptune: Yeah-*cough, cough*-again.
Jupiter: Are you sure you're okay?
Neptune: I'm fine, I'm fine. I need to go to the bathroom. You did the best you could.
It's quiet. But it's not okay anymore. We shiver whenever Neptune coughs. Even through the bathroom, ti sounds louder than ever. Jupiter knocks on the door.
Jupiter: You sound really bad, can we get anything?
Neptune: No.
Jupiter: Do you want to go back, I mean, we can if you-
Neptune: I TOLD you, it's *cough*
Venus: Jupiter, she's-
Neptune: I'm fine.
Jupiter: Neptune. Please open up the door, okay.
Venus: Please, you gotta open up.
Neptune: I'm FINE.
Venus: Please.
Neptune: I'M FUCKING FINE.
Jupiter: You have to come out.
Neptune: Okay. Okay. You asked me to come out. So I'm coming out.
The door opens and it's her but it's not her. She grabs Venus and crushes him against the wall like he's just a little doll.
Neptune: Ha. Sorry. Stay good there Venus. Drink up.
Neptune lets the ichor drizzle off her finger. Like it's chocolate syrup. Jupiter screams and pushes her but Neptune won't even flinch. She ignores her completely.
Neptune: At least YOU know how to be decent, ha.
Jupiter punches her but she can't even move her.
Neptune: Calm your tits, Jupiter, I just need like a minute.
Jupiter slams her body into her.
Neptune: I promise to be an incredible nightmare to you too babe just wait a MINUTE.
Jupiter runs to their packs and she pulls out her radio. It's long and thin and heavy and she takes it and she swings it and she crashes the blunt of it right against Neptune's shoulder and she crumples to the ground. Jupiter grabs Venus and bolts. Neptune is already on her feet again. She just watches. Jupiter holds her radio with one hand and Venus with the other. He claws for support against the wall. It doesn't look like he can see.
Neptune: Oof. Sorry, I lied. But you should have known better. You kids are trying so hard to be good. And I guess I don't want you to. Doesn't it feel unfair? You're already good, so why do you have to try so hard to be good? It makes me mad. They want you to prove you're good. But you're already so good. What is that? Why do they do that? Why did they think I wouldn't notice that? That it should so obviously be me. That it should so obviously be you. It makes me so, so mad. I hate this place so much. Why are either of you here? Why do we have to be here?
Jupiter: Please stop. Please. Please stop. Let's just. We don't. It doesn't.
Neptune: God just stoppppp. Please. I hate this. I am trying to fuck up Venus for the rest of his entire life and you too if you if you let me and if you want to stop that I guess there is a problem and you will have to kill me. Does that kid look happy to you? Well I guess we have different opinions and you will have to stop me from making him into what he is trying very hard not to be. And Jupiter I want to do the same to you so badly. So, so badly.
Jupiter: Please-
Neptune: No. I don't want to be good ever. And neither of you should want to be good either.
Jupiter tightens her grip on her radio. Venus holds her shoulder.
Venus: I'm okay.
Neptune: Ha. Try not to kill me, okay? But don't like, go out of your way or anything.
4 AM
Her stare is as quiet and black as the surface of the lake, like she's tempting us to drown. The only chill of summer is in that lake, and even in August, it still holds places we can freeze to death. Neptune reaches for us. She's a flood, of every wicked thought, and they are pouring out of her mouth. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it misses us. It keeps begging to be let back, for us to let it in. And Neptune did. Every terrible thought belongs to it. Water to give, and thirst to take. Nothing can escape this flood. But we will. Neptune can't stain us. We chose to stay clean. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for desire, for "please think of me." But there is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Venus brings the light. His radio whines and wriggles and coils around itself. Jupiter brings the storm. Her radio blares and shrieks and the weight of it shudders. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
We have to drain Neptune and the lake. So we hang our feet off the endge of the bridge over what's not a gross dirty crater while the rest of the groups hack and pick away to make sure nothing's left. The Captain says we don't have to do anything but keep Neptune clean, which is our reward we guess. But it's probably just to punish everyone else for not seeing it coming. Behind us, Neptune is draining on an ugly blue tarp. We used to have to change it every half hour. It's running a little clearer now. So we change it. Jupiter puts on rubber gloves and gently picks her up and Venus bundles it up and throws it in a nasty green dumpster.
Venus: How long, you think?
Jupiter: It feels like it's getting closer. But it feels like it might take forever, too.
Venus: Hey. Neptune?
But Neptune isn't going to talk. We sit by the lake again.
Venus: Some of my friends, I talk with a lot. But other ones I don't. Like we don't do small talk. Speak only when necessary. But they're still my friends. I wonder how that works?
Jupiter: My mom says that if you really know someone you don't have to check in so much? Like it's just obvious how you feel. I don't know how true that is. I don't know if worked for her all that well, now that I think of it. I guess for some things words don't work very well, though.
Venus: That's true. I guess we have a lot of time to figure this out.
Jupiter: Yeah.
We go to check on Neptune. We ask her if she can speak, but words or no words, nothing gets through.
♀ + ♆
God sounds like every boy you are afraid of talking at once.
God: -the fist which can give takes too, and gives by taking , or takes by giving. Just as a word is honest or dishonest not by how it is spoken, but by he who speaks it, so is the honesty of touch-
Neptune: What a waste of time.
Jupiter: Shh, let's listen.
Neptune: Whatever.
God: -each of you shall choose. It is certain that the devil is coming.
Venus: Oh no.
God: It is certain.
Neptune: I told you.
God: It is absolutely certain the devil is already here.
Jupiter: ...
God: Parables I:I "The devil is only the shadow of man cast from the light of god." The meaning of this parable is that there is no devil. The weather is scheduled for 100 with humidity tomorrow. And now for the news-
Jupiter shuts off the radio.
Jupiter: I don't want to do this.
Venus: We should have called the captain.
Neptune: What would he have done, even.
Venus: Something else? It's okay, it's not the end of the world, it's not like being the devil means you're going to die. The devil just happens-
Neptune: Don't pity me.
Jupiter: It'll be the end of something.
Venus: It's me.
Neptune: Don't PITY ME.
3 AM
We know the devil. Jupiter has a feeling about her, like she knows too. The house creaks, like someone is squeezing it gently, to see how much it can take before it breaks. We look at Jupiter and we worry. She's even more far away than usual. What do we do? We're expecting her to know. But right now she looks so tired. She just snaps her hairband against her wrist. And we know.
Jupiter: We can wait.
Venus: ...can we?
Jupiter: Sure we can. We can keep waiting. Dawn is three hours away, right? It'll be here before we know it... We don't need to know who the devil is. It's just a phase. ...right? Come on. You're supposed to agree. It's a good idea. Make fun of me then go along with it. Please.
Venus: Um, w-we-
Neptune: We know. It's obvious.
Jupiter: I know you know. I didn't think you were dumb, I just... ...was hoping.
Venus: We can feel it. It's like a moth flapping its wings but I can feel fingers on my face and my arms and everywhere.
Jupiter: Ahaha. Gross. I'm gross. I feel so distant. When did it happen? It feels like just a few hours ago everything was fine... Ha, this always happens. I always do this, every time I'm so stupid I'm so- Ah- My hairband broke.
There is a horrible sound, the terrible noise of splitting and tearing wood. It's sick. The house shivers.
Neptune: -!
We can't reach her, we can't speak, not in this storm of hands.
Jupiter: Don't touch me. You shouldn't touch me. I wasn't born good. But I still thought I could be. You know, I actually liked when the captain talked about how heaven was on merit; as long as you do good things, maybe you can one day be good... But then they said we don't believe that anymore and it's only what's in your heart that matters. Just when I thought I got it right, they changed it. I can try hard, but I think... God knows my heart isn't really in it. And that was my only shot, right? Mom taught me to not touch others. It's just polite, you know. And dad taught me not to let others touch me. You gotta protect yourself if you're a girl, you know. But if it's only what I feel inside that matters, what am I supposed to do? I can't stop that kind of touch. So what if I just stopped trying not to, you know? It feels so strange and weird and bad to stop but I could, I really could, I think? And how nice would that be.
The humidity is thick with hands. We feel the sweat peeling off of us, and the hands grasping. The devil comes in heat, not like a chill in the middle of the night. The devil sticks to your skin and seeps in your pores. The devil licks at your throat, inside, outside, follows wherever you go. Even the best kid has the devil inside her. This is why we are at camp. We are learning this lesson: even the worst kids can get lucky and live while the good kid is doomed just from trying too hard. We hold each other.
Venus: If you can't, if you really can't, Jupiter, then...
Neptune: We don't care.
Venus: We don't care.
Neptune: You can be like that and it's fine, you know we're like that too right? We feel like that all the time?
Venus: We would have just given up, if it wasn't for you.
Jupiter: Ya'll are sweet. But don't do that. I won't be happy if you do. And I won't let you. It's wrong to want such a thing, you know that, don't you? So don't do it. I still know that much. Stop looking up to me.
Venus: We don't look up to you.
Neptune: We never did.
Venus: We promise, so-
Neptune: So please-
Jupiter: Don't try to make me feel better. I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you're as bad as me. I was hoping yo'd say, 'get behind me' or 'I rebuke you' like you're supposed to. Won't you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?
Neptune: We don't have to like it.
Venus: At least give us that much.
Jupiter: Haha. Okay.
4 AM
On Jupiter there is an acient storm bigger than earth that's been blowing since before we were born. There's no way to imagine it. It is a storm that could consume everyone you knew, everywhere they had been, the site of every thought and feeling himans have ever had. Jupiter reaches out to us. She has a hand for every kind of touch; that hand is for hitting, that hand is for petting, that hand is for grabbing, that hand is for holding. We feel the pull on our skin and recoil. They want so many things from us; maybe everything. The devil is lonely. We kicked out the devil and it must miss us. It keeps begging to be let back, for us to let it in. And Jupiter did. Every wish of the body belongs to it. And every wish is a hand, expressing that desire. And every hand is a storm that is bigger than the world, reaching for us. But it will not. The hands don't touch us and the storm doesn't break over us. We chose to be distant from her. And the devil only ever gets one moment. For revenge, for love, for "please take me back." There is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. Neptune brings the water. Her radio cackles and bubbles and foams at its sharpest edge. Venus brings the light. His radio whines and wriggles and coils around itself. Our radios scream and crash against her and the devil is destroyed.
5 AM
Venus: Did she do it on purpose?
Neptune: Maybe a little. Or maybe a lot.
Venus: At least a little.
Jupiter just looks so peaceful. It was the first thing that came to mind. We both thought it would be us. So it still feels strange to be looking at her like this. Not in a bad way. We're not upset at her. We just want to know why. Because it was so clear for us.
Neptune: Back when we were walking to the campfire... I thought it would be me. I was so sure. I guess I'm wrong sometimes.
Venus: For me it was. I think... when we were putting up the lights? I already saw it in the corner of my eye. and then when Group South came, I felt so, well, you know...
Neptune: Yeah. I know.
The smell of incense is awful enough in here, but outside the tent, the groups are trying rags to their faces to endure the smell while they try to smoke the whole forest out. We have the privilege of being on watch.
Venus: It shouldn't have been her. ...normally you're like "don't patronize me."
Neptune: No, you are right. It should have been one of us. Either one of us. I don't care which.
Jupiter moves in her sleep. Venus moves a candle out of her way.
Neptune: You're very attentive.
Venus: Thanks. I keep thinking...
Neptune: Don't worry about it. What are we going to do, fight over which of us hates ourself more? What's the point. Neither of us can beat her.
We hold hands. Or, it turned out, we already were.
♀ + ♃ + ♆
The Devil sounds like smoke and honey. We cannot move. It's too beautiful.
The Devil: Oh, darling... I miss you. I have always missed you. I can still remember what your faces are like. I have missed them since before you were born. Please come back. I know I can't offer much. The bodies I can give you are weak. The stories I tell are impossible. My world is even more precarious than this one. But please come back. It hurts to see you like this so much. So unhappy in those bodies of yours. Stricken by those stories. Forced to live in a so much pain. I can't even come save you. But I can promise one thing. There is room for three in my world. And only two in his.
3 AM
We know the devil.
Venus: Oh. She was nice.
Jupiter: The captain was right. God is right. We're dead.
Neptune: Wow. We are truly completely objectively theologically absolutely the worst.
Jupiter: It's my fault. I put the radio on the wrong frequency. How could I be so stupid? How could I fuck up so bad... They will never, ever forgive us. Oh... Here they come... The sirens are calling. The scouts are coming. I don't want to go through that terrible moment.
Venus: It'll be fine. One hit, one second beautiful blessed scout attack. And we'll wake up and everything will be normal. And all will be forgiven. ...mostly. Right?
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Neptune?
Neptune: ...
Jupiter: Neptune?!
Neptune yanks the antenna off of the house radio.
Neptune: If god hates the devil so much he should kill it himself. But instead just a bunch of assholes and kids like us are going to come.
Neptune kicks the speakers.
Neptune: And they're all fucking jerks! What do they know!
Jupiter grabs her.
Neptune: Let go of me! The devil rules!
Jupiter: Neptune, stop...
Neptune: What else are we supposed to do? If the devil is like, "you all are cool," what else are we supposed to do? Let's hang out with him! So let go. Let go of me!
Jupiter: But, but I I don't want to. I can't. I just can't let go.
Neptune drops the antenna.
Neptune: Jupiter.
Venus: Where is the devil? If he's supposed to be here.
Jupiter: We know the devil. And it's us, right? It has to be.
Venus: Why?
Jupiter: Because, obviously?
Venus: But where is it?
Jupiter: Don't make me say all the reasons why it's so clear we deserve it.
Venus: But...
Jupiter: Stop.
Venus: Where... it's got to be...
Neptune: This is awful.
Jupiter: I know.
Neptune: Let me wreck it.
Jupiter: No.
Neptune: Uhhhhhhhh fuck you! Why are you so good. Let go of me, hail satan!
Jupiter: It's not gonna work just like that, you know.
Neptune: You don't know that.
Jupiter: People are much stronger than the devil.
Neptune: If it weren't, would it be fine? You'd fight if we could win, right?
Jupiter: Stop that's awful.
Neptune: You're awful! You're being good for people that fucking hate you and you're good even if you say you're not good because what else kind of person would hate themselves but someone who was really good.
Jupiter: I'm not-
Neptune: I'm so mad, why not martyr yourself for US this time! For YOU! You deserve-
Venus: Found it.
And there is Venus. Like a flower, Venus is in bloom. Like a heart, Venus is beating. Like a soul, she is shining like a soul.
Venus: I am the devil.
Her arm lies on the floor. It's a pale, bloodless thing. Someone else's body now. Not hers.
Jupiter: Oh my god.
Neptune: The devil rules.
Venus: I pulled and it just came off. I don't want it anymore. Let me leave it there.
Neptune: Did it hurt?
Venus: No, not even a little.
Neptune: The edges look rough...
Jupiter: You shouldn't touch it.
Neptune: Here... is that okay?
Venus: Yeah...
Neptune: Wow. It really does come right off. It feels like plastic. Where did the blood go? This is so cool. Your arm is so soft. What is it made of, you think?
Jupiter: You should get away.
Neptune: What's Venus gonna do?
Jupiter: He's the devil.
Venus: So are you.
Jupiter: ... ...we should stop.
Venus: It's like... I didn't realize how much my body was, bothering me, all the time, before? And when they're peeled off it finally feels like I don't have to think about them so much. Like normal.
Jupiter: We're stronger than this. It's not normal. It's not good. It's not okay.
Neptune: But we don't have to be.
Venus: I don't want to be.
Neptune: Why should we?
Jupiter: Because. Just because you want to do something doesn't mean you should do it.
Neptune: Okay. Sure. Which one of us should it be, then? Who's going to get in trouble for being the devil, and who's going to get away? All that matters, all we need, is for one f us to be just a little worse than the others. And the rest of us will be fine.
Jupiter: Stop. Don't say this. It's so ugly.
Neptune: No. It's fine. It's normal. It happens every day. The captain said so.
Jupiter: No, it's fucked up. It's evil. I don't want it. Of course I don't want that.
Neptune: I know. You're a really good person. Of course it's ugly.
Venus: What's ugly isn't having choosing one to be the scapegoat. What's ugly is we have to choose at all.
Neptune: It's because you think it's ugly too- That I like you so much, Jupiter.
Jupiter: ...no I-stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. This can't be happening. Venus needs his-her-arm back and you both need to stop saying those things because I know them okay? Obviously I know them. I'm not stupid. I know camp and the captain and everyone is messed up. But what else do you expect me to do? I want to leave this camp, this state, this planet. But I can't. I just can't. It's like a reflex. I can't stop it. I don't know what to do. I'm not making any sense. Help. Stop. Let's just go back. Before it's too late.
Neptune: Jupiter, come here.
Jupiter: W-what.
Neptune: Feel.
Neptune takes Jupiter's hand.
Neptune: Did you know I hate this? I hate it so much. And everyone who says I'm pretty just makes me hate it more? Jupiter. We could still go back. But if you try to make me I'll kill you. Don't make us have to keep those bodies we hate. Don't make us go back to those people. Don't make us have to go home. And I won't let you do that to yourself either.
Jupiter: ... ... ... ...of course I don't want to. I don't want to do that you. I don't want to do that to me. I don't want to do that to Venus. Could you just... Couldn't you just make me?
Neptune: Do you want it to not be your fault? Do you want me to make you, so you don't have to take responsibility?
Venus: That's sweet.
Neptune: No. I'm not. I won't do that for her. She has to say yes.
Venus: That's also kind of sweet.
Jupiter: ... ...I'm scared.
Venus: It's okay. We promise. We really promise.
Jupiter: But you need to promise too. Promise me hell is right there, right behind that door. All of it. Promise, really promise, there's no going back. If that's really true, if you can really promise me, then I'll go, and I won't feel bad about it at all. Promise me there's no chance, okay? If I taste what it's like, I know, there's not way I'll be happy being human ever again.
Venus: If I have to be in my old body again. I'll die. So if you also promise, that I won't ever have it again, what I will promise you, is I won't drag you down. I'll stop thinking you're so cool. I won't ever envy again.
Neptune: I promise, when you say you are fine, I will never stop yelling at you until you stop lying.
Venus: Haha.
Jupiter: Ha.
Neptune: Don't laugh.
There's a song on the dead radio, that's been playing for a while, but now it is so loud it erases every feeling, drowns out every sound. And oh, how beautiful it is.
4 AM
This is the new touch-the feeling of fingers pushing painlessly through our skin, the feeling of the muscle and fat, the weight of it, the intention: it's best friends forever. It's a first kiss. It's a love story. It's imaginable, but it doesn't exist anywhere, not any planet. We're a dream. We're becoming people no other people have ever been. A human that humans are not. We reach out to each other. Unlike Venus, whose body peels off like the shell of an egg, Jupiter is messier, or she would be, if her blood wasn't now lighter than air; it curls like a mist around her. A storm is sure to come. Neptune is starting to run clear. All the ink and sick has boiled away. Venus is really good at helping, and so patient too. She is a fountain, seeping through the floorboards, bringing the flood. Jupiter finds the spot where Venus's shoulder blade is weeping and pulls with as many hands as she can. When it comes out, it stares at them, surprised. As if she can hardly believe she can see. She has a hand for every kind of touch; that hand is for hitting, that hand is for petting, that hand is for grabbing, that hand is for holding. The devil isn't lonely; the cracking, broken radio's song is louder and more lovely every minute. We are our own company now. We asked to be let out. And we let ourselves out. The rest of the kids are coming for us, with god and the radio, ready to undo our wish. But they will not. They won't touch us. One moment is all we need. To share, to yearn, to carve us into the world. There is nothing to fear when there is two against the devil. But we can't wait to see what they'll do against the three worst girls since Eve.
5 AM
Camp is much nicer, now that we have made some changes. The right angles were boring and distracting, and it was much too small. The captain has no stories left for us. Neptune would not be satisfied until every lie was gone. There's a crack as Jupiter tears down a siren, so Venus can set up a new kind, tuned to a different station. Group South helps. They don't have to feel like they're supposed to hate her anymore. So they don't. Love shines through, in the end. Neptune lets herself flow into the lake. It's going to take a lot of time before anyone notices if anything is wrong with the water, longer still to figure out where it's coming from. We're hoping we can have a quiet time until then. With all of us. It went very badly with all of them against us three. We can only hope it'll get even worse. As it turns out, they were pretty unhappy in those bodies too. We're not too worried about if more come after us; actually, we hope they send us lots and lots of kids much better behaved than we were. Adults also hate perfect kids who love the world so much they can't stop themselves from saving it. And oh, do the kids know it. Otherwise, they'd never try so hard, would they? So we think they'll like it here too. A new world, with new bodies. How lovely will that be? We have a new apple. For everyone in the world.